How rude!! It's been over a month since I've last written....
So many things have happened over the past month. But in saying that...there are so many things that have not...One in particular is to do with my health. Now I k now I live a very busy life and a lot of that is self inflicted, and I am now feeling in the pit of my stomach borderline hypocritical. I think it hit me when I was having coffee with one of my clients who is getting married in June. We ordered dinner, and she said to me..."What happened to the "New Me"?"....exactly! She was right!!!
The Old Me is finding it's comfy seat within me...and is about to settle. I have so many things I want to do and with my obligations at church and with my family picking up again...I know that I am putting myself in the back seat again. If you could see the inside of my mind write now I'm pretty should you would be standing at the edge of a motorway with everyone rushing to wear they need to go at 200km/hr.
I am now feeling like I have made promises to myself....and I am breaking them. Though at the same time I'm feeling like...I'll just dedicate this time to what I need to do for God and for my family...and then I'll make some time for myself. With my first Sunday preaching fast approaching I know that it will be a true testament to even myself to be up on stage at the size that I am...and thinking...this has got to stop. I cannot continue to serve God in this thick shell I have right now!!! I need to get myself right....physically.
Spiritually I am feeling really blessed with the awesome messages I have been listening to, and the messages that I feel God is giving me for this preaching. I have so many things I feel I need to say but trying to say it in a way that will reach as many people as possible is a little difficult. But I know that relying on the Holy Spirit to help put together the right words will do the trick :)
I feel like sometimes I need a massive whiteboard in my mind to help me prioritise things but I think it's really to waste time writing lists. I'm a huge lists person and I love to write lists for the sake of writing them. Doesn't necessarily mean I'll get everything done, but it does feel good to cross things out.
I will try to write more as it does give me some relief. Especially over the next couple of weeks leading up to our 10th wedding anniversary night away. I'm really looking forward to it 'cause I do miss my love. But I know the trip will be worth it :)
Okay.....I need to get onto my domestic duties. If anything writing today has helped me to get things back into perspective. Which ironically is what my preaching is about :)....Learning to Change our perspective :) xxxx
