5 steps forward.......then someone kicks you back....

So I need to say that I'm feeling a little down today.  I started off feeling great about the good work that is happening in my life and then I get hit with the reality of discouragement that surrounds me!  It's amazing how you can think so positively about things and then a word is shared with you, one's perception, then you watch how quickly your world turns gloomy!!!  I can keep tell myself not to worry about it, or listen to my husband say to me "who cares, but God cares" and then I sit alone...with my thoughts and then argh!!!!!  Right now I'm sitting in the dark and though I'm not expressing my feelings outwardly...on the inside I'm feeling....blaaaahhhhh!  Why is it that no matter how many positive people you can surround yourself with, you only need one person to bring your world down??  Why do we allow ourselves to listen to things that hurt our spirit.....

Anyway....enough of that :P....We had our first women's training session last night for Change 4LYF challenge and it was great! 45 mins walk around Stokes Valley and then an hour of volley.  Definitely feeling it today.  Tonight's session was for our men's group.  They did a fabulous job! We may be small in numbers but we are making an impact!!!  One kid in particular really encouraged me....no matter who we are in life and how we've come to be, you will never know your true worth until you PUSH yourself!!!  Thinking about seeing how hard this kid had trained tonight just pushes out any negativity/sad thoughts in my head right now.  Everyone has things to be angry/sad about, but until you have walked in the shoes of someone who has less and is living HARD....you will never know who you really are as a person!!!

This Change4LYF challenge is helping me to realise that this is not just about a physical change it is very much mental and spiritual for me!!! Change for life.....I need to CHANGE FOR LIFE......change my ways forever, change FOR LIFE, change so that I may live!, change so that my children can have a better life....CHANGE.....

Change...Dan's message last weekend included changing our perspective.....I'm sitting here thinking to myself..I have to start changing my attitude, changing my behaviour.  We teach our girls to instead of "who cares"...say "it doesn't bother me"...and thinking about it now...it is something I need to say aloud...'IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME!!!'

I have so much on right now than to worry about someone's PERSPECTIVE...I need to refocus my energies on the things that will change ME for LIFE......

Everyone has an opinion, everyone has a perspective.  As unique as God has made us, so are our thoughts.

My lesson learnt today....  I have better things to occupy my mind and time... :)...like CHANGING ME FOR LIFE!!!

Wow!!!! I have re-read your comments!!!

As I start my journey through this 12 week challenge ...and then the next 12, and the final 12 weeks :P, I read through all the comments I have received from families and friends after reading this blog.  I am truly blessed and overwhelmed by such loving and encouraging words!

A lot of times when we go through challenges in life, we can downgrade our value but when you receive loving messages like I did while I was sick it is such an uplifting experience!! To feel loved in that way and to feel like you really are making an impact on people's lives.  Even if it is a whole lot of rambling on my part.

So thank you, thank you, thank you!! Your words even now continue to help me.

I am inspired again to continue writing this blog and record this new journey in my life to finding a healthier me in body and in spirit!!!

Great message today!!

Really enjoyed today's message...."Who is Jesus to me?".  Had me thinking about whether my behaviour, attitudes reflects who Jesus is to me?  Then with this 12 week challenge going on, I thought, well I know my outter being is not reflecting who Jesus is to me, in that I have really let go, and let loose! :/ but I am making a change.  Our church is going through this 12 week challenge which surprisingly there has been very little resistance given that we are mostly a pacific island church community.  But our message this year is about God making a way for us, and this is what I know is happening for me so far.  Even in these early stages of the competition I had prayed for an opportunity to improve my health and now we have the opportunity as a church to run this programme...not once...but THREE TIMES this year!!! Now how's that for God making a way for us!!!

This past week has been one of testing relationships and I am glad to say that when your relationships are founded on God then all things will happen!!!  God has really made a way for me and my sisters (in-law) to be closer and to work together better.  I am reminded again, that everyone is different, and have come from different backgrounds.  Until you can acknowledge and accept that you may never be able to move forward.  Trusting in what you cannot see is what big Faith is all about!!!  We can never see what will happen in our lives in 5 to 10 years time, but God can see all things and He sees that it is good!!!

This week is the start of our 12 week challenge.  I am feeling tired, but plan to do some exercise when I get home after service.  I have to start planning out my week so that I don't fall into last minute scrambling for dinner and then shooting off to do something for church/family/school.

I ask for God's strength and discipline to be with me this week!!!  It is going to be a good week.  Hope it will be for you all...

Day 3 of 12 week Challenge "Ch4ng3 4LYF"

Oh my goodness...I do hope these posts will share something more positive.  Well another day of 3 litres of water...honestly the number of times I had to go to the ladies!!!!!   Today I fasted until 3pm.  Our church is fasting for God's blessing and favour over our programmes for the year....so how about more first one for the year was on the wrong day! Oh well..the intention is there...and God knows my heart....I just didn't know the right day :P....

Went out to dinner tonight to celebrate Dan's last day at work before he starts contracting.  So exclamation marks again!!!!!  But tomorrow will be a new day. I'm glad that I don't feel bloated or anything.  But I do aim to do some exercise this weekend.  I am working tomorrow.  Another full day which I am not looking forward to because it really is taking its toll on my body and in my mind I'm thinking that I have so much to do at home and my little side projects for church and my photography I really need to get get some headspace.

So here's for tomorrow where my post I'm hoping will be better!!!!

Will keep 'FIGHTING'!!!!!!! (with exclamation marks!)

ARGH!!!! Day 2 of my 12 week challenge!!!

I had my mind set to tackle the first of what will be 3 x 12 week challenges I will participate in this year and !!!!! I feel more bloated than ever!!!  One positive is that I am drinking 3Ls water a day now.  That is going down easy.  But argh!!!  My meals when I get home!!!!  is that enough exclamation marks for you!!!  I am kicking myself for eating more.  In my head I can see myself being healthier, graduated, with child (:p) and happy!!! But like my cousin says (who has completed 3 x 12 week challenges) it's the starting that's always hard!!!!

I aimed to get to bed by 10.30pm but nope am still up....My little side projects are keeping me up.  I changed into my workout gears straight after work with the intention that when I got home I will hit the crosstrainer...argh!!! no joy...I must get up early to do something...I know that once I do some activity I will feel better for it.  I am back into cooking meals at home and packing my lunch for work so that is good I suppose.

I am at my largest ever in size and definitely feel this is the year to find myself again!!! and get back to the active person I was when I met Dan.... :)  Well my school books arrived today so I am going to hit the books early before the semester starts so I have a head start on things.  It's going to be a busy first quarter of the year but I am trying to stay positive.

I have enjoyed my time with Bethany today.  She seems positive.  I was conscious of how I interact with my girls today and not act like such a busy body that mummy has to cook, to do the washing, to get their clothes ready etc.  And I can see such a difference in her.  I need to spend more quality time with her and Mira.

So tomorrow is a new day!!! I'll aim to get up early and start again!!!....I will make a better effort to blog my progress too....

See you tomorrow :)