Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Give someone a bit of freedom...and what do they do?

I haven't blogged in a while because I've been trying ...(trying being the operative word) to study for my exam that was last Thursday and since then I've been relishing in my down time with having to do nothing.  But like my title says...give me a little bit of freedom and you'll see me staying up late, playing facebook games for up to 4 hours straight! and now I have a sty developing and dry skin from lack of sleep...my body is absolutely worn out!  Sheesh!  I have to remember that I'm not young anymore and staying up so late can do damage to my body especially if I'm needed to save the world the next day...well for my girls anyway..with things like "Mum, where's my socks?" and "Mum, what do I do? WHAT CAN I DO? I can't go to sleep!"...argh!  So now I am focussing on heading to bed before 10pm each night.

Over the weekend I've been sharing the message of forgiveness.  I talked with my Sunday School class about the scripture  (Genesis 45) that talks about Joseph forgiving his brothers for selling him off as a slave because they were jealous of their father's love for their brother.  In that scripture I shared a few points that I picked up in the reading.  The first being about acceptance.  In revealing himself to his brothers (at this point over the Joseph had been removed from the prison he was held and became like a ruler living in the Pharaoh's house.  His brothers had come to Egypt seeking to buy some grain as there was little food available at that time), Joseph had accepted that he was sold as a slave by his brothers.  Personally I believe their is a process to forgiveness.  The first step is acceptance (read the 7 steps of grief which comes before these steps - http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html).  In order for Joseph to forgive his brothers fully he needed to accept what had happened to him.  Accept his situation.  Accept that at times the people we deal with are just the way they are.  They come with a different sets of values, beliefs and habits.  We can't go into relationship thinking that we can change them.  That's not our job but God's.  And over time that is exactly what God had done for Joseph's brothers.  After selling their brother Joseph, the brothers had been stricken with so much guilt and seeing the pain their father had endured over the years from missing his son Joseph, they were presented with test (Joseph had planted a silver cup in their sacks to test his brothers if they had changed) and this time they fought for their youngest brother Benjamin.

An extension to this step is to understand that their is a reason, a plan for you and I.  Joseph realised this also and assured his brothers that it was God's plan for him to go through what he did so that he would be a grow to be a stronger and wiser man.  And he did, God moved him out of the prison and into the Pharaoh's house becoming the Pharaoh's trusted adviser.  Now how is that for God's great plan for Joseph's life.  I'm certain that if I were in the same position I would be questioning everything to try and understand why I would be sold as a slave and then end up in prison.  But that is our problem at times, and God understands us being human (and flawed) that when we are so entrenched into a situation that we don't see beyond it.  Our vision is blurred by what is happening in front of us that we don't see above the cloud of confusion and anger and frustration.  I talked further to explain this about Jesus delivering his sermon on the mount.  I likened our situation to what Jesus did.  In order for him to deliver the messages he needed to move beyond the crowd and preach from the mount.  At times...actually many times it is difficult for me to see beyond the current situation to be able to see and communicate more clearly.

The next step in this process is about forgiveness but an extension to that is the action to "seal the deal".  When Joseph revealed himself to his brothers and told them he had forgiven them, he kissed each of his brothers and then hugged his brother Benjamin to whom he was closest to.  I think about situations where we have forgiven people, but have we truly forgiven them?  How will we react when we see them again?  Will we be all smiles when we see them again, or will that feeling that is in the pit of our stomach find its way to the tip of our tongue where we just have to bring it all up again?  For Joseph a true test of his forgiveness was his reaction when he saw his brothers again.  As Benjamin was the closest to Joseph he paid more attention to him by giving him a hug.  We forget that those we are closest to, in our process of forgiveness, needs to be given more attention without discounting the relationships that we have with others.

So in that scripture, I was reminded that I need to accept certain situations in my life with an understanding that there is a greater plan for me, and going through these situations will only make me stronger and wiser.  Personally, I always remind myself about that when I forgive others, have I truly forgiven them?

There are some relationships that we must accept have run its course, and there are others that need a lot of work to keep the relationship going.  We need to choose which of those relationships to run with and which of those we need to let go of.

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