Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Sandpaper People...

It's after midnight and I'm having trouble sleeping.  I thought it was to do with the plates rubbing together causing an earthquake in my hometown but it's not.  It's another form of rubbing...like people rubbing me the wrong way....sandpaper people.

So here I am again, going through the motions of dealing with certain people in my life that tend to drive me nuts and in my weakest moment I let it all get to me.  So much so, that I tend to talk to my husband a lot about it.  That is usually a sign for me to deal with it, if I tend to talk about it a little more than I should.

I read this book years ago that helped me deal with people that rubbed me the wrong way and it was such a great resource.  So much that I gave it to a friend to read and.....haven't seen it since lol.  I'm sure it's helping someone as much as it has for me.

So this blog is to share with you another post I just read which will help me sleep tonight :)  I love that it talks about my very love language - serving and how I can use that to deal with those sandpaper people in my life right now :).  God is sooo good :)

Have a read. ....Good night Sandpaper people :P..kidding....goodnight xx


Serving Sandpaper People

mary
Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10, NIV).
Friend To Friend
We live in a problem-filled world. However, you will be thrilled to know I have discovered the biggest problem of all – people. In my opinion, if there were fewer people, there would be fewer problems. Every day, we face the daunting challenge of getting along with people. Some make it easy, and some don’t. Some are kind and encouraging, and replenishing, while others drive us to the brink of insanity and beyond.
One Sunday morning, a Sunday school teacher, in the process of teaching the Ten Commandments to her third-grade class, asked the question, “Last week we learned the commandment to honor your father and mother. Can anyone tell me if there is one that refers to brothers and sisters?” A little girl’s hand immediately shot up. When the teacher called on her to give an answer, the anxious youngster quickly responded, “Yes, there is a commandment just about brothers. The one that says, ‘Thou shalt not kill!’”
Let’s be honest – some people are simply more difficult to get along with than others. They “rub” us the wrong way. I call them “sandpaper people.” We try to change them, run from them, ignore them, and even take a stab at fixing them. But what would happen if we made the choice to serve them?
I know. The last thing I usually want to do is serve someone who is hard to get along with. In fact, shouldn’t these “sandpaper people” be serving me in order to make up for all of the grief they have caused? Sounds right, doesn’t it? God has a different plan – a higher plan that produces supernatural results. It is called service.
In his letter to the church in Rome the Apostle Paul defined true service when he said that we are to “be devoted to one another in brotherly love” and “honor one another” (Romans 12:10, NIV). In this verse, “devotion” indicates commitment and duty and carries the idea of a constant faithfulness that deliberately chooses repeatedly to serve. To “honor” someone means to “prefer” him or her or regard them as more important than ourselves. Honestly, most sandpaper people are used to people preferring that they disappear.
Sandpaper people are hard to serve and hard to help because they rarely, if ever, think of themselves as someone in need. The needs of others are not high on their priority list but control and power are. To manipulate is to succeed. Sandpaper people honestly believe that the world does or should revolve around them. It doesn’t seem to matter if the audience is applauding or jeering. Either way, they win. Why would God ask us to serve the very people who drive us crazy – the people who are so hard to love and seem to constantly wreak emotional havoc in our lives?
Choosing to serve a difficult person demands that we lay down our pride and our rights and deliberately choose to identify and meet a need in that person’s life. We then become a conduit through which His love can flow to reach and transform that hard-to-love person. When we dare to serve a sandpaper person, it rocks their world. They are accustomed to scratching and clawing their way to a false and shallow acceptance. Sandpaper people find it almost impossible to believe that anyone would ever be willing to serve them in any way. That kind of chosen love is foreign to them but it certainly grabs their attention. I wonder what our world would look like if we made the choice to love and serve the sandpaper people in our lives.
Let’s Pray
Father, when I let pride take up residence in my heart, I can be so blind to the needs of others, especially those who are more difficult to love. I am so thankful that You did not feel that way toward me, one of the most difficult people of all to love. I praise You for the grace and love You have given me. Help me to be an instrument of that love and grace in the lives of those around me.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

Monday, July 2, 2012

3 months on...

It's been 3 months since my last post.  Ironically the heading of my last post is "Falling on Deaf Ears".  Wish right now I could say that things have changed.

I'm sitting at my dining table, feeling the chill creep up my legs and my eyes are burning and yet I still don't register the signs of a body that needs rest.  Not only that, I am sitting with a huge infection on my chin.  Which started out as a mere harmless pimple  (Are pimples really harmless?), has now grown into a huge infection that is making me look like that clown mask in SAW!!!....grrrrr!!! I feel like I've just been at the dentist.  I talk as if I have a lisp.

I know, I know......even I would be really put off by someone I love whom I tell time and time again to take a break and give their body a rest.  But I still don't get it.  Well looking back over the last 3 months, I have thrown myself into my work with youth.  My heart is always to give God my best and I know that I am running on an empty tank.  I feel though that if I set systems in place to a Kingdom standard then I can pass things onto others.  I don't feel that it's an issue of trust that I have with others but rather it's wanting to give my best and knowing the potential that our church, our youth has I can provide that right now.

But I sit at home on what was to be my first day of working full-time again and what looks to be another few days at home because of this hideous chin.  I am doubling up on antibiotics which I know is actually doing worse to my system but yes I know that I do need to rest.

Last night was our 4th Encounter which is an english service that the youth leads.  It has been a blessing with these encounters as our youth has grown to 30 as well as 16 souls saved and many souls recommitted.  I have dedicated a lot of time.  Well both my husband and I ...and yes I think my children also have dedicated a lot of time to working with our youth.  At times I do feel tired but am always thinking...I will rest tomorrow.  And yet tomorrow comes and it's another busy day.  But the response from last night's Encounter makes it all worth it.

The message last night was based on 2 Timothy 1: 6.  Fanning into the flame the gift that God has given me.  I do believe that I am fulfilling God's purpose in my life.  But at what cost.  My Health for sure!!!!!  I caught up with a good friend who looks absolutely great and she told me about how my blog has interested her and that she would check in from time to time.  This blog has not been far from my mind as there are so many things that fills this space between my eyes :).

The message last night cemented God's purpose in my life.  I love my life and where I am at with my family, my friends, my church, my youth, my workplace and basically everything.  What will it take for me to take care of myself.  I have so many loving friends and family who remind me time and time again that I need to take care of myself.  I feel loved when they share their concern for me.  But as quickly and as easy as their words enter through my ears they quickly exit stage left.  As if I push those words to the side to make room for the next event, the next day, the next activity to be organised.

I went for an hour walk with my sister blister last week.  It was good to be pounding the foot path again.  It had been a long time since my running shoes saw the soles of my feet and the face of the pavement.  It was good to be able to just set aside everything and clear my mind.  And once I got back into the car to return home it was straight into fulfilling a productive day. *sigh*.

Last night's encouragement was about igniting the passion within.  I have no problem there.  I have the passion to continue to do what I do.  My problem is learning to control my passion to allow for the rest of ME to catch up so that I can continue to serve.

Control & Passion.  Sounds like contrasting words.  And yet saying it over and over in my head only reminds me of what my husband has said to me "Do what I can within my capacity".

I am blessed with such a loving husband and surrounded by my loving family.  I am forever grateful.

And with this said...I will take the next couple of days to just relax.......and take my meds :) xxx

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Falling on Deaf Ears...

It took for my husband to plead with me to take things slow for me to finally realise that I'm still taking on too much.

It has been almost 2 years since I was diagnosed with a spinal infection that would've left me paralysed from the waist down or at its worst, no longer be here and yet it still did not register with me what the impact on my family would've been.

I was talking with my husband about wanting to do something mid-year at church and working with young people.  While mindful that I still have my assignment to do that is due on Monday (already extended), photo jobs to finish (well overdue), commitments at work as well as family and church commitments.  It was beginning to bother me that in sharing some ideas for church with him I was not receiving any kind of support from him but instead listened to his frustration about taking so much on.  When he talked about my health, in my mind and my heart I felt like "oh health, schmealth.  What is health?" and feeling that my health was getting in the way of wanting to serve my great GOD.

Now I fully understand the importance of taking care of oneself so that I can serve God longer but it just was not in my list of priorities right now.  I know that sounds so silly but I'm the kind of person that when I set my mind to doing something especially when I feel strongly about it, I will do my best to see it through.  But it was all at a cost - my health!

Our heated conversation quickly came to a stop despite trying to seek further clarification from him about what he was feeling.  And in that awkward silence I was trying to understand what it was about me that wasn't taking the messages, the warnings from my husband, my family and friends to take it easy.  Had this been happening to someone else, of course I would feel a little frustrated in telling them to take it easy but instead they did the opposite and did almost everything under the sun on their list.  But the message just wasn't sinking in with me.

And then it dawned on me.  I love my GOD and absolutely believe in what He can do for me and my family.  Referring to the 5 Love Languages, my love language is Service.  I feel that my way of expressing my love to God is by serving Him by any means.  For my husband or anyone for that matter to tell me to take it easy especially when it comes to doing things at church (in my mind serving God) I felt like I was being told to not express my love for Him.

I do so much for my God because I absolutely love Him and He has given me no reason to believe that my life can be better without Him.  And so I serve Him with every ounce of energy in my body.  And yet as I am of the flesh, I do not realise how much of a strain it is taking on my body.  My husband felt that I was being selfish in doing so much and not thinking about our family in the sense that I was driving myself into the ground.  When he said that I couldn't understand how serving God was being selfish when I'm thinking that what I do are acts of selflessness instead.  He felt that I always do above and beyond and again I was confused because I felt like ..."well isn't that how it should be?".

In previous blogs I wrote about feeling that I did not deserve to rest and that I should always be working hard.  I know that what I'm feeling is definitely not about that.  I am confident that what I do at church and in my service to God is not to please others but to only please my God.  But the message/advice my husband gave me was to serve within my capacity.  Even in the bible it talks of the great men of God having to delegate to others.  I am of the mindset that if nobody does it then who will?.  And yet I always...ALWAYS feel that... well if nobody does it then I will.

I know that I am not perfect, and I know that I do push myself really hard.  But I think on this occasion I really need to take things at a slower pace.  There's a reason why our journey with Jesus is called a "walk".

One Step at a Time.

xxxxxxx

Monday, April 2, 2012

When the feeling of failure settles in...

Now I know better to allow any feeling of failure settle into my mind and heart after such an awesome weekend of servitude and blessings!  But at the moment the feelings are settling in.

So this weekend past was my first Sunday preaching.  Not that it should matter what day of the week you preach, because the day of the week is irrelevant.  I preached a message about "Becoming a ChangeThinker" at our first BUILD UP service which our youth group Bless'Em organised.  It has been such a full-on week which has definitely led me to over-exert myself.  Not because I wouldn't delegate to others and share the load.  But because I had a standard, and expectation of how the first service should be and so I did my best to see that through.  Evaluating the weeks leading up to the service and the service itself, I think miscalculated the importance of certain things among others.

I am trying to develop a style of preaching that allows me to be frank, honest and relate-able.  Developing this new style has helped me to control my emotions when I preach.  It's so difficult to do when I talk about how great my God is.  What triggers my emotions is the desperation to convince people that a life with God is so good, and that they are really missing out.

I received a lot of positive feedback but I couldn't help but feel surprised because I doubted myself straight away.  Now I know that is really stupid and I'm not writing this to get sympathy comments from people.  But I am putting it out there and wonder whether other preachers feel the same.  The feeling of..."Did I do a good job?".

Now knowing that if this was someone else sharing this with me, I would say to not doubt yourself.  If you feel that the message you received is one that you felt God wanted to share then there is no room for doubt.  The result was that there were 9 souls saved.  Not that it was due solely to the Word, but a collective ministering by the youth....well actually only God will really know what part of the service really touched these 9 souls.

I know I'm being really silly.  I did not fail.  I set out to do my best.  My aim was to set the standard/expectation on organising a service that reflects the perspective of Kingdom residents.  I believe I achieved that.  My hope is that it really has encouraged our congregation to widen their perspective in serving God with a renewed mind.

My encouragement from last night's service was based on Romans 12:2 NLT.  It will take time to come to understand God fully.  For some of us it will take a lifetime, for others much sooner.  But once we make the decision, once we change our minds to allow Him to make a dramatic change in our lives, we will see in His timing how GOOD and PLEASING and PERFECT our life can be with Him.  And it will be so great that we will want to tell others about it.

My life is good right now.  It is a journey that I'm taking.  And I'm prepared to put in the hard work.  I have done what I can in my service.  Now it's time to do things for myself, and get my personal goals back into perspective.  The next time I preach....I aim to be smaller physically, bigger spiritually and mentally!!!

Be encouraged xxxxx

Friday, March 23, 2012

What Happens in a Month??

How rude!! It's been over a month since I've last written....

So many things have happened over the past month.  But in saying that...there are so many things that have not...One in particular is to do with my health.  Now I k now I live a very busy life and a lot of that is self inflicted, and I am now feeling in the pit of my stomach borderline hypocritical.  I think it hit me when I was having coffee with one of my clients who is getting married in June.  We ordered dinner, and she said to me..."What happened to the "New Me"?"....exactly! She was right!!!

The Old Me is finding it's comfy seat within me...and is about to settle.  I have so many things I want to do and with my obligations at church and with my family picking up again...I know that I am putting myself in the back seat again.  If you could see the inside of my mind write now I'm pretty should you would be standing at the edge of a motorway with everyone rushing to wear they need to go at 200km/hr.

I am now feeling like I have made promises to myself....and I am breaking them.  Though at the same time I'm feeling like...I'll just dedicate this time to what I need to do for God and for my family...and then I'll make some time for myself.  With my first Sunday preaching fast approaching I know that it will be a true testament to even myself to be up on stage at the size that I am...and thinking...this has got to stop.  I cannot continue to serve God in this thick shell I have right now!!!  I need to get myself right....physically.

Spiritually I am feeling really blessed with the awesome messages I have been listening to, and the messages that I feel God is giving me for this preaching.  I have so many things I feel I need to say but trying to say it in a way that will reach as many people as possible is a little difficult.  But I know that relying on the Holy Spirit to help put together the right words will do the trick :)

I feel like sometimes I need a massive whiteboard in my mind to help me prioritise things but I think it's really to waste time writing lists.  I'm a huge lists person and I love to write lists for the sake of writing them.  Doesn't necessarily mean I'll get everything done, but it does feel good to cross things out.

I will try to write more as it does give me some relief.  Especially over the next couple of weeks leading up to our 10th wedding anniversary night away.  I'm really looking forward to it 'cause I do miss my love.  But I know the trip will be worth it :)

Okay.....I need to get onto my domestic duties.  If anything writing today has helped me to get things back into perspective.  Which ironically is what my preaching is about  :)....Learning to Change our perspective :) xxxx

Sunday, February 19, 2012

He is My Centre

I put this as my status on FB today "You know for a while things had been a little stagnant at church....so I decided to change seats....moving from the back of the church to the front....and I tell ya....BOOOM!!!! I am feeling it all over again....If you're finding yourself getting comfortable and eventually getting bored and distracted...then maybe all you need to do is CHANGE WHERE YOU SIT!!!....blessings y'all! Good to be home xxx"  


It's been a while since something felt so true as that statement did for me today.  The last couple of weeks since moving to another seat in church my perspective has changed.  It's the same with taking a picture, one photographer has a different perspective to another.  I feel so very blessed to be at the front and to feel in the amidst of worship and to hear His word, His encouragement hit me at full volume than as a faded whisper when you sit at the back.


I feel so relaxed despite being as busy as I am.  I am really appreciating everything that I'm doing.  With my healthy journey I'm receiving comments from those around me saying that I'm looking slimmer. I stand in front of the mirror and see little changes.  My response to their comments is..."I feel really happy".  What a freedom that brings me to say that I am honestly happy.  Of course there are always ways we wish our lives could be better, but how can feel happy in those times if we don't appreciate the times we are in now.


Worship today was awesome.  Not really any different to any other day, but only because I'm at the front of the church now, each lyric and musical note hits my heart like an arrow hits its target.  The words in one particular song  really put me in my place.  My girls are singing it right now as they lay in bed.


Jesus at the centre of it all
From beginning to the end
It will always be
It's always been you
Jesus, Jesus

Nothing else matters
Nothing in this world will do
Jesus you're the centre
Everything revolves around you
Jesus, you, at the centre of it all

Singing this song I reflect on our 10th wedding anniversary coming up in a couple of months.  There have been so many milestones reached in my life.  And from the very start when I left home 11 years ago, I remember promising God that if it was His will for me to leave home then everything I do I will dedicate to Him.  And since then, as I have blogged about before...I cannot describe in words the blessings that He has given me over the years.  And even now with doing photography, God has blessed me with meeting beautiful families, making new friends, sharing a part of my life with them, and them with me.  I am so absolutely blessed.  My temple will be in the condition God intended for me.  I am determined to get there!

I am preparing for my first Sunday sermon as a preacher at the end of next month.  I feel that God is speaking to me and planting messages in my heart about encouraging his people to make a move regardless of how big or small that movement is....it's a move...and that's what God wants.  I am excited and praying for spiritual fulfilment so that whatever encouragement I share on the night will be what He wants me to share.

My life is beyond what I thought it would be 11 years ago.  He has blessed me with so much more....and I am truly thankful and it's all because I have made Jesus the Centre of My Life!!!! so blessed xxxxxx

Here's the video clip of the song for you to enjoy xxx Jesus be the Centre by Israel Houghton

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Laying It Down

It's been a long time since I shared the goings on in my life.  I have been so busy and at times felt overwhelmed with my photography that I have taken on.  God has been so good to provide for me and my family.

Dan preached today's message fr the first time this year.  I always feel proud to hear and see him serving in our church.  Well actually for anything for that matter.  Seeing him at work makes me feel so much more confident in where he believes our family should be led.

Today's message was simple in that we need to plan the year ahead.  Set goals and prepare for the opportunities and the unexpected things that prop up.  Pray - Link - Apply and Never give up.  Awesome encouragement to remind us to have continuous conversations with our God in everything that we do.  I was remembered that I need to link with the right people to see God's plan through in my life.  We can only go so far with certain people in our lives.  When we feel that we've reached the end of the relationship then we need to be thankful for that time and then move on and continue with God's plan.  Application is always key to any plans being made.  Putting to action the plans we've developed.  I sometimes put a lot of pressure on myself to follow through with what I've promised but at the same time I need to keep a balance of what I have going on in my life.  Lastly, never giving up.  I am not going to give up on my journey to improve my health.  My husband is so motivated right now which is exciting for me.  Today I felt good about myself.  The way I dressed to go to church.  I had blogged about some time ago that I no longer am going to feel so down about myself with the size that I'm at right now, because I know this is only temporary.  But I really did feel pretty today :) and my husband stared at me in the same way he did when we got married.  As embarrassing as it was for me to be on the other end of those long stares, it felt good to be the apple of my husband's eye again :)

The other key message that stood out for me today came through in a song that our worship band hadn't sung in a while.  An old "Katina's" track.  I'm "laying it down for the joy of the Lord".  With all that we have going on in our lives it takes an action by us to lay our burdens down so that we can see the glory of God.  So that we can enjoy what God has set for us.  We build a wall around us that prevents us from really seeing the blessings that we have in our lives.  That song reminded me to push aside all that makes me unhappy to see how happy I can really be.

For 2012 don't waste your time on things that don't add any value to your life, because you will miss out on the value that is already there!!! xxx

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Rewards & Growth

So I've kicked into my first workout for the year and went for gold! On Day 2 I am very sore.  Why? Because I forgot to stretch and warm down.  How quickly I wanted to just get into it and now paying the price of not seeing something through from preparing myself to cooling down.

With anything we face it is important to prepare oneself as much as one can.  Otherwise you would only embark on a journey with half a tank and vague driving directions.  A half an hour drive to your destination would then turn into 2 hours, a lesser tank of gas and frustrated passengers.

So today I'm going to prepare my body properly with having a good breakfast, working through what I need to do today ( I need a to do list ), and putting time aside to exercise again.  I'm afraid pain will be my best friend for some time.  Before all of that..praying is the best way to start the day :)  With all this pain I have now I'm going to need some help with strengthening my spirit, because I know that it will be fighting spirit that will help me to do the last push-up, pull-up, box jump. :)

My first milestone will be in March.  I will look over last year's fitness goals and make some adjustments.  I think I need to simplify them again.  I also really need to follow through with rewarding myself.  While on holiday I was reading Joyce Meyer's "Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoes".  The book talks about allowing yourself to have a break, to reward yourself...basically encouraging yourself to continue on with your spiritual life, to persevere through it all.  Encouragement and positive self-talk really push you through, push anyone further than put downs and negative self-talk.  Simple Math really.  In the chapter about rewarding yourself it explains that rewarding yourself along your journey is just as important as the journey and the destination itself..  We need to fuel ourselves in order to carry on with our journey.  I had reached one of my milestones last year but never got around to going through with my first reward.  I quickly lost motivation because I didn't reward myself.  So this time I'm going to set smaller goals and rewards.

Our New Years didn't kick off to a great start.  We were heading home on New Year's Eve from an awesome holiday with my little family when my husband had an accident and fell into a tank through the ground.  The result was heading straight to the hospital where my husband stayed for the following 3 days :(  He is now instructed to rest for 6 weeks.  Thankfully he is able to work from home, but how frustrating it has been for him because in the last 3 - 4 months of 2011 there has been something wrong with his leg...be it a grid iron injury or some thing.  Someone asked me recently how it was all going...my response was that if I hadn't worked hard in my marriage before...I am definitely working hard now...I was rushed off my feet preparing my family to head out to lunch with my husband's extended family for their annual reunion.  I had my girls to change, trying to burn CDs, preparing a dish to take with us, ironing my husband's clothes and I still hadn't dressed myself.  I could feel the pressure building up until I received a text from Dan's cousin...his best man at our wedding :)....asking if I ever needed any help to let him know as he knew I would be putting my superwoman cape on and trying to do everything.  Reading that text made me giggle, but also made me relax.  I can't do everything, and I do need to ask for help.  Though it is very busy at the moment with taking care of my family especially my husband.  I love it still.  If anything I feel that I am giving back to him what he has shown me....and continues to do so even while he is propped up in bed with almost all the cushions and pillows in our house supporting his back and leg :)

This year is going to be another year of realisation.  Realisation that I am worth all the time in the world so that I can give that time to others...especially my family.  I am really loving my life right now.  So many good things happening to me and my family...and so many challenges to overcome which I will!!!! xxx

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

It's Amazing...

It's amazing that time has flown by so fast that it is January again....

It's amazing that once again my new year's resolutions remain unchanged except now this year WE WILL FINISH IT!

It's amazing how even when a new year springs about new contemplations of CHANGE some people remain THE SAME!

It's amazing that my good God has once again protected my family despite an accident that left my husband spending New Year's day in hospital.  I love Him still....

It's amazing that I feel more tired now during the holiday than I have any other time...BLASTED DVD NIGHTS!

It's amazing that we continue to leave it 'til special occasions such as Christmas and New Year's to tell our loved ones how much we value them....

It's amazing that in these holidays I have been blessed with some quality time with my husband and children....but once we step through our front door...we almost lapsed into old habits....ENOUGH OF THAT NOW!...IT'S A NEW YEAR :)

It's amazing that I have been blessed with another year to spend with my family, to serve such a wonderful God, and to make right the wrongs in my life.

It's amazing that this year will bring about opportunities that could not have been foreseen 2, 3 or even 5 years ago.

It's amazing that......LIFE IS JUST AMAZING...

I have not fallen off my healthy living wagon...I am holding on for a bumpy ride this year....but my theme for this year is to FINISH WHAT I STARTED!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!!! xxx