What is in a Message??

I have been asked to preach for the first time at tomorrow's prayer meeting.  It has been some time since I offered myself to become a preacher at my church and I am thankful for the opportunity to share an encouragement to all those in attendance.

I'm sitting here thinking about what to share with others.  Asking god what it is he would like for me to encourage his children as the year draws to a close.  I have some ideas to meditate on.  I am excited about what to share for the first time.  Though I have taught the congregation during Sunday School, this will be slightly different :)

What is in a Message? If I were to think about what I would like to hear in a sermon. "Short" comes to mind first :) ....but a message being specific.  Straight to the point.  Nothing's worse than trying to listen for the point of the speech when the lead up to the point takes 15 mins long :)  Oh the journey of ever reaching our destination is an experience in itself :)

I would like for a message to be relevant.  Current to my situation.  Illustrate how my life can relate to what is being said.  Growing up we always have trouble finding any relevance to what our parents have said about their struggles during their upbringing to our modern day ways of life.  There is a skill to telling I story I think...and telling it in a way that keeps your audience engaged.  I hope that in my experience of sharing my story I am on the way to mastering my own style of story-telling, but in a way that is relevant and engaging :)

Well I've got some writing, thinking and praying to do to prepare for my message tomorrow.  I trust in God that He will give me some encouragement to share with others. :)

It will be a GREAT EXPERIENCE!!!

 xxx

Blessings....

I had returned yesterday from a 3 day trip to Napier for my first graduation photography session.  I really enjoyed myself and am forever thankful for the opportunities that God has put before me.  The opportunity has also been to spend some quality time with my girls.  I enjoyed meeting inspiration young people but felt like something was missing.  I now understand how it is for my husband to attend conferences etc without me.  I felt as though Dan needed to be with me and share in the experiences.

The whole weekend went well.  I couldn't contain the blessings and the joy I was feeling for He pulled through for me again.  I am left with some decisions to make but I am truly thankful and confident in the belief that God has got me and my family.  How secure that feels to trust in Him is overwhelming.

The time I spent with my in-laws too was also invaluable.  God blesses me with what I need for the concerns I have for the moment.  Once I move from forward from those concerns I see the path that He lays before me.

I interpreted the message at the graduation to mean the following:

Accessible - Allowing yourself to be accessible to those that need you in mind, spirit and body.  There are times where we can be reached but we mentally zone out and therefore not give or serve as well as we could have.

Available - I think there have been moments where I make myself available only to certain people.  We make ourselves exclusive to "like-minded" people whereas Jesus made himself available to everyone.  Unconditional love that is.

Adaptable - I often find it difficult to adapt to others plans especially when my heart has been set on my own.  But I need to be flexible and remember that there is no "one way" to doing things.  There will always be a way, and if it means that others plans need to be fulfilled before mine, then so be it.

Awesome reminder for me to remember that in my service to God I need to worship him before I start and at the end of my service.   Always being thankful and giving Him all the glory for everything that I have.  It is a humbling experience to understand that everything that I do is not of my skill and experience but that of which He gives me.  He absolutely qualifies the CALLED ...and not called the qualified.....We all start from somewhere....

This week I will focus on being more accessible, available and adaptable to my little family.... xxxxx

A Bump in the Road...

I received some news today that made my heart drop slightly.  I am in a little shock.  I'm sitting back from the laptop and exhaling harshly but slowly.  Because of my procrastination I may not complete the degree that I wanted and may have to settle for another with picking up an extra paper.  :) I was only 3 papers away from finishing.  I could kick myself right now.  But.......I'm choosing not to.  I am slowly accepting the consequences of my actions.  I need to be mature about this.  No point in crying about it.  Crying is not going to get me to finish.  Though it is a release, so is talking about it with someone I trust.  I will wait until he finishes work.

But this is only a slight bump in the road.  My journey in completing my studies has given me a wealth of experience in enduring through times of starting a family and committing myself to God through my service to Him.  I am still positive.  My life is in a very different space right now.  I continue to progress through my new found love for what was a hobby.  I praise God in all my situations.

These past couple of weeks has seen my family grow in the difficult situations that we face.  My conversations with my husband has been about everything and anything.  Not leaving anything out.  Being completely honest about ourselves and our situations.

As heart-dropping as life can be at times, I remember the feeling of capturing some precious moments from a gorgeous wedding I was at over the weekend in beautiful Masterton.  (See pics here www.photographybyleonegrace.blogspot.com)  What a privilege it was to spend time with this gorgeous couple who were clearly in love.  I knew in that moment that what I have been doing for the past year...capturing special moments for others...is spiritually and emotionally fulfilling for me.

Yesterday's encouragement was about being a blessing to others.  Caring more for others than for oneself.  A beautiful follow-on from the weekend I had in Masterton.  Having the opportunity to be able to bless others is such a gift.  You don't have to have money to bless others. If you're heart is to bless those more than oneself, then you will find other ways to do so.  I explained to my kids that giving without a thought of receiving is such a blessing and something so meaningful that it satisfies you on all levels.  Okay maybe not in those words exactly ...they are only 7 & 8 :)  But they got the idea.  It is interesting to hear that from children or even with adults that we put limitations on how we bless others.  Where in situations we can give so much more but we choose to give only a little saying that next time we'll give more.

In my heart, I want to give more with what I can give while trusting in God to help me along the way.

The news I received this morning I take on as only a bump in the road...a challenge and an almost pricey reminder that when I set my heart on something to achieve I need to be focussed and that some things really do need to be sacrificed so that I can achieve my heart's desire.

xxx

Conversations with my Husband...

So tonight's post is about my conversations with my husband.  Over the years, our conversations have grown from learning about each other, loving things about each other, hating with a passion some things about each other (like leaving his clothes on the chair that is meant for sitting in), and loving things about each other some more.

Tonight I was feeling a little sad and needed my best friend to talk to.  He was quickly demoted to just friend when I tried talking with him and it seemed as though setting up Microsoft Office Outlook on his laptop was more interesting.  Goodness was I THAT boring?!  So instead of playing mind games with him, I stood up and let him know that I was not going to continue the conversation because he was more interested in what he was doing.

Wanting to stomp all the way to our room and pout, I didn't want my girls to mirror my behaviour, so instead I pretended to pick things up off the floor and walk to our room :).  My husband soon followed (good man :P) and explained that he thought our conversation was over.  Now had he really been listening he would've known that I was only taking a pause to think...a long pause at that :P.  And again instead of playing mind games with him, I put my feelings of annoyance aside and proceeded with our conversation.  Or more like our one-way conversation.

Talking through everything with my husband has always been such a God-send. I am so thankful that my husband is a good listener.  Despite even in one conversation I would be repeating myself a number of times my husband still listens intently.

We talked through my issue and I realised that what matters most to me is knowing that my husband supports me no matter what.  His opinion and that of my children matter most to me...after God that is :)  When everything is put back into perspective, the world seems right again.

I have found that in my marriage it is important to continually tell each other what we are supportive of, where we need to improve as husband and wife, and as father and mother in this family.  This life is so short, there is no time for mind-games.  So much energy is wasted on mind-reading....

So tonight I am thankful for my husband for always doing his best for our family, for always listening to my voicing my internalising really complicated situations :).

Am truly thankful!!! xxx

FIRST MILESTONE ACHIEVED!!!

I did it!!! I finally hit the 5kg mark!  It's taken me to the end of Week 7...but I did it!
All the work I'm doing so far, pounding the local 22 flights of stairs that are very steep...it's definitely worth it.

I can feel a change in my fitness.  Walking up the stairs at home and elsewhere is a breeze compared to our local stairs :)  I went along to our church biggest loser programme last night...and I actually lasted two laps jogging.  I am soooooooooo happy right now.  But I know that I shouldn't be complacent.  5kgs down another 55kg to go...or around that :)  I am also down to a size 18 - 20...from size 22 - 26.  I'm really happy... :)

Things in my life are going really well.  I do photography on the side to earn a bit of dosh but it's also to meet people and to have an opportunity to minister about how great God is in my life.  I'm telling you....life at the moment is wonderful.  My husband is a lot better and has just started back at work.  Things with our rental property is now on the go.  I'm getting regular income with my photography while on leave.

I have wonderful people in my life who have the courage to let me know that they feel I'm taking on too much (still...)...We should never be afraid that our concerns may burn bridges in our relationships.  We should have the courage to be forthright and trust that our relationships are SOLID and can withstand any situation that comes our way.  I am truly thankful.  I am a big believer in always checking in on oneself.  And that would include others checking in on your too.

I am more conscious of the time I spend in my "new office" away from my family.  I can get so excited about the projects that I get involved in that I neglect my family's needs.  So today I'm going to be organised.  Spend a little time in the morning to check emails etc.  Then off to do things around the house, then run some errands.  I have my day sorted.

Well since I've achieved my first milestone...that means....there is a spa waiting for me!!!! :)

Without God in my life....I absolutely believe that I wouldn't have what I have, I wouldn't experience what I experience.....I wouldn't love myself like I love myself NOW!!!!!!

It's all worth it...

Everything I do, I aim to do my best.  And when I don't...the Spirit tells me so.  How great it is to have an inner voice built in to remind us of many things have set out to do, to improve, to learn from.  When I hear that voice clearly I know that my Spirit is connected with His.

Since my last post my family has been challenged with the repercussions of another's actions so much that it leaves my family in a difficult financial position.  My poor husband is doing his best to make right of the situation on top of his work and of his condition.  I have never seen my husband so stressed and yet I feel at peace because I know that my God has got me and my family.  There is no test that me and my family can't get through!

So I've been busy with a number of things this week.  Meeting and conversating with people about my love for life has given me new motivation to keep going.  I have received comments from people about how I'm looking and it has been uplifting.  I know that my fitness is improving.  Now that I have an office downstairs I'm running up and down our stairs at least 5 times a day :)

I still lack in organisation....but I will conquer it this week.  I will overcome any spirit of laziness!!!  Living with purpose is my aim this week.

After such a busy week I am feeling like I am really achieving something.  There is still so much more to do and I will carry on with a fighting spirit.

Tomorrow I was asked to walk the stairs again with my best friend.  So I will meet her there at 8am....Challenge On! :)

Taking care of my house....

In every sense of the meaning I am taking care of my house at the moment.  My husband has not been well which is pretty rare for him, but I am also continuing taking care of my temple.

I'm sticking to my challenge of someone asking me to participate in some exercise my immediate answer is Yes.  So I have walked the Stokes Valley stairs twice.  And I am so happy that today I had only stopped twice when normally I'd stop 4 or 5 times.  I'm getting there.

Today I participated in our church's Biggest Loser Challenge.  Keeping my mindset on staying active and doing the best I can no matter how silly I look performing the exercises.  There really is a lot of support there.

I am definitely finding that when I do not write in, I lose accountability.  It's easy to lose myself in my day-to-day busyness.  My life is getting more exciting now with a new venture I have taken onboard.  I suppose I have replaced working part-time in the corporate world for working in a creative AND business space.  I am truly blessed for having such a supportive husband that gives me positive and constructive cricitism.

I do need to keep myself accountable and reach my first milestone...it isn't too far away.

I woke up this morning barely could I walk to the bedroom door...the room was spinning so fast.  At first I thought I got up from bed too fast.  But the room kept spinning.  I had to stay in bed for a couple of hours.  I feel much more rested now but that was a wake up call (as if my sty recently wasn't enough) to tell me to get into a better sleeping routine!!!  I am disappointed that I let it get that bad but I'm not going to dwell on it.  I'm just going to do better.

My life has once again gone a little busy but I'm feeling really happy about where I am at the moment.  But I know there are still things to improve.  I am finding that "neglect" is creeping back into my life (or did it ever leave in the first place).  Little things like my girls trying to talk to me but I'm on my phone texting clients or on facebook checking bookings or even that various parts of my house is still needing some tidy up...

Well there I said it....so now I must make a plan to improve on those areas.  I'm such a big planner.  Sometimes I plan so much that I never get anything done.  I love to make lists.  And mentally my list is as long as I am tall... :)  But I will do it.

I am really loving my life at the moment, and loving where I am mentally, physically and where I can be spiritually. xxx

Time to take care of my house xx

Discipline....

So I've literally just sat down after disciplining my youngest daughter for punching her sister in the face for distracting her from finishing her bed time prayers.  Something I'm trying to work through with my girls with their expressions of frustration by manhandling each other.

As it is something to learn to discipline my children in a way that won't traumatise them when they get older.  It's also a discipline to take care of oneself.  There must be control.  There must be a clear mind.  There must be patience.  It can be so easy to lose oneself in one's emotion.  It can be so exhausting to have this whirlwind of feelings circling within me when all others can see on the outside is someone calm.  Quite the opposite at times.

I am just feeling this right now, but I haven't been this way all day.  Today was productive.  I got onto doing things for my family.  Picked up my very sick husband from work early today.  On the way home he asked me whether I was mad with him for being sick and that he notices when he is in this state that I don't care for him as he does for me when I'm under the weather.  That is true at times.  A woman loves to be cared for by her man...especially when all she does is do the washing, clean the house, take the kids to school, cook the meals, make phone calls to the plumber, get the warrant done for the car, pick up the kids from school .... :) well you know.  I can't complain really.  My husband has been pulling his weight to.  He has grown so much as a father and husband in our almost 10 years together.  We married young.  As most would say.  23 years old.  Was that young?  If it were my girls...yes I'd probably say so too. :)  But watching him over the years, I am truly thankful that he is a man that is true to his word in taking care of his family the way God wants him to.  So when we got home.  I gave him medicine. I made him some tea.  I cooked his meal.  I ask him if he needs anything.  And all he does is chuckle.  :) Well I know I can make him laugh too ;)

Talking about discipline.  I did good today.  If you could spend a day in my head, all you would hear is "Love yourself enough to change" when I feel I want to reach for a croissant....or "You don't need that when your money could go towards something else more important"....or "okay do this, then do that.  Pick up him.  Pick up her. Text them.  Book them"....honestly I think I'm going deaf not because of my girls screaming but the constant chatter going on in my head!

Discipline.....it can sound like such a negative word but it is a life-changing one. And one that will take a lifetime to master.

I received an email from my mum who is also trying to improve her health.  It was nice to read that she wants to do it together.  So that we encourage each other.  It is another chapter in our family book of what we do together as mother and daughter. :)  Even relationships needs discipline.  Discipline to hold you back from saying something that could be hurtful.  Discipline to not influence your loved ones into doing something that does not bring any value to their lives.  Discipline to understand and discern the right things to do to protect a relationship.

I need to have more discipline when it comes to giving myself a chance to truly LIVE!!! I do feel like I'm being held back....but I know it won't be for long.

p.s. I stuck to what I said in my post last night and I will end my day in saying Thank you to Him for being with me today and for being with me when I wake up. xxx

Raw Emotion...

I spent the first half of my day catching up on X-Factor episodes.  What an emotional rollercoaster!
I couldn't stop crying.  To see such raw emotion stemming from the determination of each contestant.  How could you watch and not feel how this journey is affecting them.  One of the judges had said to one of my favs Leroy Bell, that they weren't sure if he wanted it bad enough despite having all the goods.  I thought about that. I know I've asked myself that question before when I started this new journey in my life.  Do I want it bad enough?  I thought I did, but I don't really.  I'm not wanting it bad enough to make my new habits stick.  The old habits are still there.  Holding on for dear life.  Laughing at the thought of me ever even trying to make better of this life.

And just when I think about my healthy journey I come across one of many photographers that I follow and read their blog about a good friend of theirs going through their fitness journey.  Check it out here: http://sweethopephotography.blogspot.com/.  Are my goals not clear enough?  I know that internally I'm feeling good.  Feeling better about myself.  I went through the whole decluttering stage.  I'm becoming more active than usual which is pretty good I think.  I could shoot myself in the foot with the lack of sleep I have and the lack of organisation that I'm not eating proper meals or drinking enough water.  I'm told I need to burn more calories than I eat.  At the moment I'm eating more than I burn.  So that in the end my friend is called a size 26! ...okay I can joke. I have dropped down 1 - 2 sizes.  Originally my pants sizes were from 24 - 26, but now 20 - 22.  :)  I'm happy about that...but it is still far away from revealing the real me.

Thinking about feeling empathetic towards the X-Factor contestants, we feel connected and gain a deeper understanding.  But when we put ourselves in their shoes I think at times through experiences and influences in our lives we harden ourselves to feeling anything.  I think about my journey and at times, as bad as I feel I want to improve my life I don't feel like I can cry about it.

I know what it is.....

As much as I try to declare it, I am not relying on God to see me through this journey.  I don't talk to Him.  I don't ask Him to help me.  Sometimes I think it's not something that I would want to bother Him with.  As if I would only ask Him of things that really mean something.  There you go....I really don't want this bad enough.  To ask God to help me in this journey, would confirm that this is a really big thing and that I can't do this on my own.  there are a few things going on in my life at the moment, that are a slight distraction from this journey.  And yet, I still don't ask Him for help.  I talked about the encouragement that I received on the weekend.  "Seek and You shall find.  Ask and You shall receive"...

I'm sitting at my desk in my bedroom and looking around I see a book titled "First Things First".....yes first things first.....I need to pray about my situation.....There is more to life than good deeds, and good deeds can only get you so far.  You need, I need God to take me the rest of the way.

Tonight...I know exactly what I need to do.... xxxxx