It's been 3 months since my last post. Ironically the heading of my last post is "Falling on Deaf Ears". Wish right now I could say that things have changed.
I'm sitting at my dining table, feeling the chill creep up my legs and my eyes are burning and yet I still don't register the signs of a body that needs rest. Not only that, I am sitting with a huge infection on my chin. Which started out as a mere harmless pimple (Are pimples really harmless?), has now grown into a huge infection that is making me look like that clown mask in SAW!!!....grrrrr!!! I feel like I've just been at the dentist. I talk as if I have a lisp.
I know, I know......even I would be really put off by someone I love whom I tell time and time again to take a break and give their body a rest. But I still don't get it. Well looking back over the last 3 months, I have thrown myself into my work with youth. My heart is always to give God my best and I know that I am running on an empty tank. I feel though that if I set systems in place to a Kingdom standard then I can pass things onto others. I don't feel that it's an issue of trust that I have with others but rather it's wanting to give my best and knowing the potential that our church, our youth has I can provide that right now.
But I sit at home on what was to be my first day of working full-time again and what looks to be another few days at home because of this hideous chin. I am doubling up on antibiotics which I know is actually doing worse to my system but yes I know that I do need to rest.
Last night was our 4th Encounter which is an english service that the youth leads. It has been a blessing with these encounters as our youth has grown to 30 as well as 16 souls saved and many souls recommitted. I have dedicated a lot of time. Well both my husband and I ...and yes I think my children also have dedicated a lot of time to working with our youth. At times I do feel tired but am always thinking...I will rest tomorrow. And yet tomorrow comes and it's another busy day. But the response from last night's Encounter makes it all worth it.
The message last night was based on 2 Timothy 1: 6. Fanning into the flame the gift that God has given me. I do believe that I am fulfilling God's purpose in my life. But at what cost. My Health for sure!!!!! I caught up with a good friend who looks absolutely great and she told me about how my blog has interested her and that she would check in from time to time. This blog has not been far from my mind as there are so many things that fills this space between my eyes :).
The message last night cemented God's purpose in my life. I love my life and where I am at with my family, my friends, my church, my youth, my workplace and basically everything. What will it take for me to take care of myself. I have so many loving friends and family who remind me time and time again that I need to take care of myself. I feel loved when they share their concern for me. But as quickly and as easy as their words enter through my ears they quickly exit stage left. As if I push those words to the side to make room for the next event, the next day, the next activity to be organised.
I went for an hour walk with my sister blister last week. It was good to be pounding the foot path again. It had been a long time since my running shoes saw the soles of my feet and the face of the pavement. It was good to be able to just set aside everything and clear my mind. And once I got back into the car to return home it was straight into fulfilling a productive day. *sigh*.
Last night's encouragement was about igniting the passion within. I have no problem there. I have the passion to continue to do what I do. My problem is learning to control my passion to allow for the rest of ME to catch up so that I can continue to serve.
Control & Passion. Sounds like contrasting words. And yet saying it over and over in my head only reminds me of what my husband has said to me "Do what I can within my capacity".
I am blessed with such a loving husband and surrounded by my loving family. I am forever grateful.
And with this said...I will take the next couple of days to just relax.......and take my meds :) xxx
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