So I am finally feeling better and my face no longer looks like it morphed into one of the Fraggle Rock cast! I am now optimistic about really taking care of myself. I've been off work for 3 days and it feels like a lifetime already. Again another opportunity to realise the benefits of taking care of myself and my family and my career taking a backseat for now. I asked my husband whether I was being selfish for working and he basically put me in my spot and told me that there is no compromise when it comes to my health. It's not a matter of IF I'll stay home but WHEN I'll stay home I will take care of myself. Love having a husband that knows me completely and says what I need to hear, and thankful for having a heart to hear it as that.
So I've headed this post as "Breaking old habits", I recently was faced with the opportunity to confront an issue that had tormented me while growing up. Succumbed to bullying by "friends" at school and teasing by family I never quite saw the humour in teasing/bullying someone about their inadequacies. I have come to the realisation that at times we really do say things to or about others to make ourselves feel better or to feel superior to the other, to have some sort of power. I am glad that I had the courage to let this person know, but keeping in mind that what I was about to say to this person, is it going to build the relationship or break it? My confrontation was to break the old habits of others bullying/teasing or even to break the habit that I have put up with it, and yet stored anger/hurt in my heart when I needed to do something about it. I really believe through my life experience that if something bothers me to the point that I have had to get a 2nd or 3rd opinion then I need to do something more to resolve the matter.
I am trying my best to always keep myself in check, to walk the talk. It can be hard sometimes, don't get me wrong. I am no angel, but a human who makes mistakes. But i am learning to do my best. I pray that there are more opportunities to confront past demons and set things straight in the hope that relationships are restored and if not, then I am thankful all the same.
A couple of days ago, we had family over and my eldest was looking for something to do. My youngest sister-in-law who is an aspiring singer-songwriter was jamming away on the guitar. I told my girl to write a song with her aunty. This lead onto an opportunity for me to cross something out on my "bucket list". So a bucket list, is a list of things to do before you "kick the bucket". Basically before you die. One of the things on my list has been to write a song. My sister had already come up with the music, and so the rest is history :). I wrote the lyrics to my first song with the help of His Holy Spirit. The lyrics talked about realising how wonderful our God is, that he is eternally watching over us. Even when we turn away from Him, He continues to love us purely and unconditionally. We sang this today at our evening service as I testified about the goodness that God continues to do in my life.
So the next chapter in my life hopefully starts in a few weeks. I am looking forward to the time off to really take care of myself. I'm going to start a separate blog soon, to document my journey to finding the "real me".
Our services today was awesome. I was given some bad news this morning before service started. It was news that one would not wish to hear about their family, but the worship today helped pull me through. Trusting completely in God that He knows what is right for us. Relying on Him completely in all our situations.
I was just looking up a song that we sang in Worship today, and came across this song that Dan sings during worship. I love this song because it really is heartfelt. I hope that this song ministers to you as it does to me.
"Please come down to me" - The Crabb Family
My encouragement to help you through the week is really to trust in the Lord to help you in any situation you have before you, and to have the courage to confront those that hurt you with the purpose to rebuild your relationship or to accept that their are differences.
I look forward to what my good God has prepared for me this week.... xx
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