I have just uploaded a post that I had written back when but hadn't published it.
It has been some time since I've posted anything.
In the past two weeks I have been keeping myself preoccupied with walking interested parties through our rental and packing our house down getting ready for the move. We are close to finalising a few things with potential tenants so we are very blessed that we have been able to find people before we move into our place. We still have a bit of work to do on the house before we move out. Dan has been doing some work around the house which I am really happy about it. Dan's view in the past was that if something was broken...sell it :P I'm happy that he sees value in investing some time, sweat and dollars to fixing something up. A shame that is has come when we are moving out. But that is okay..we can't ask too much of our men :)
Things at work have been good. Who would've thought that sitting at a computer all day can be so draining. I now need to organise meetings with my customers so that it gives my body a break. In the past week I have learnt that perception plays a big part in our lives whether it be at work, school, home, church. No matter what your view is in life about caring for others opinions they still have an influence in our lives. If not ours, that of our close family and friends. Though we may not agree with those perceptions there is still an element of influence. Having been sick for some time and will continue to have this for the rest of my life, the perception has been that I "look" well, therefore I must be well. But the reality is that I know that I cannot work a full week. My body is so drained. From time to time I will have some boost of energy and I can be seen bending over cleaning the bottom of the shower, picking up heavy furniture and in those times the perception again can arise that I'm okay. I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind about what others perceptions of me are when they see me do things or hear that I have done a lot of work. If it is perceived that I can do this, then I begin to think of other things that I can do and in the end my body pays for it.
At my last appointment when the doctor told me that I am very fortunate and that others (patients) have not made it, it scares me a little. I know that in beating this infection that God has such a great purpose for my life, but now I'm trying to regain strength to live out my purpose. But other things get put on the back burner i.e. my school work. It was my plan to graduate in May next year, but because this illness has taken a large chunk of my study time I have had to put off study this semester and focus on returning to work. I have only just completed my first full week (4 days part-time) back at work.
In terms of my fitness, I'm wanting to do more but am afraid that I may damage my back. Though there is no second thoughts about moving bookshelves around a room! Images of the softened bone in my spine snapping comes to mind when I want to do some exercise. Hopefully when the dust settles when we move into our new place and all is sorted with our rental I can concentrate on getting into shape.
I think about what will happen down the track as this infection will stay with me. It is scary to know that others have died from this condition. I still believe that will not be the case for me but it will mean for me to be extra careful throughout my life. Trying to live a healthy lifestyle has never felt more real to me.
My girls understand that I need to take things a little easier and are always reminding me to have some rest and rubbing my back. So loving.
This week will be our last week in our home before we move in to what will be our last home for the rest of our lives!!!! :) After what has been a crazy year thus far it would be good to feel as though I am starting fresh again.....
I'll post some pics of our new place when we move in :)
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