Words, Words, Words....

So Day 1 started off well with a good healthy breakfast.  Drank a lot of water.  As soon as I made yesterday's post, I shut down my lappy, and went about my daily chores.  I grabbed my school books and put it on my dining table to remind me that I need to get onto my assignment.  Great deal that did because now it's put more pressure on me that my deadline to have my assignment in is on Monday, and I'm heading to Auckland this Friday night to catch my brother's RWC game!!!  I had two little ones with me this morning.  We had morning tea, then spent the morning in the garage.  I cleaned the interior of my car! As I was cleaning I reflected on my life (as I do so often now!), and with getting into the cracks of every corner of my car getting rid of all that grime, I realised that's what I need to do with my inner being.  I need to real clean out every bit of bad feelings/habits I have for my "temple" to really be clean.  Today I will get onto cleaning the exterior.

I managed to squeeze a little bit of exercise, well with the car-cleaning, but also with a Biggest Loser Kinect exercise routine.  That is, until my youngest came into the lounge after already having spent 45 mins mucking around instead of having a shower and my eldest calling out to me every 5 mins for something "Mum can I wear this for P.E.?", "Mum can I go to the car to get my bag"...argh!  Unfortunately Dan had just returned from an overnight work trip and is feeling really sick so he went straight to bed.

I am now even more determined to not sit still unless I'm working on something with my girls, family or school work.  With all this "excess baggage" I'm carrying, I hate feeling the extra kgs sitting at the top of my thighs when I sit at the table!....I'm afraid that with these posts, I am going to have to be really honest with myself, if I'm going to make any real changes.  And I say this remembering that I stared at my reflection in our kitchen window last night eating my daughter's leftovers right after I had made a fruit smoothie so as not to be tempted to dig into the pasta, kebabs I had made for dinner for my girls!!!  I was staring at myself in the window and was absolutely mindless as to what I was doing eating the kebab!!!

I have a huge headache, and I'm not sure what exactly that is due to.  I know that I am stressing a little with my school work, and so close to putting my studies on hold to take care of me, but I know that I will be regretting it come May next year.  I have family around me having babies and though that is very much in our plans to expand our family of four, but I'm afraid I need to be really selfish right now and get myself right.

I headed this post as "Words, Words, Words..." because it was written in the background of the Biggest Loser Kinect game I was exercising to.  It said "Words, words, words...Stop Talking and Do Something!"

Right now I feel like I have a real "dislike" of myself for having to even get to this point.  I started this journey being about learning to love myself again.  Key word...learning.  I think once I start really believing that I can do this, I will begin to love myself again.

So day 2...kicks off with DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!