Now how was that for a service....my earlier blog was about, in essence, that only God can see the effort that I put in for Him. And that was the message at our evening service. I felt as though God had plucked the words from my blog and fed them through my Pastor tonight.
God reminded me again during service tonight that he can see my effort, my heart, my service. I cried my heart out when I got home and shared with my husband. My head hurts from going over and over in my mind my intentions to serve. I believe it is good practice to keep "checking" yourself, especially with someone who knows you completely. They will ask you the right questions like "Are you sure you're not doing this to please man?".
I know that I am over the "trying to please" certain people in my life, because I know that limits my ability to fully serve. I have accepted that I will not have all the solutions, the ideas, the skills to fulfil a need. There is a reason why God created so many different people. We all have something to offer. I had not felt this emotional in such a long time. Full of frustration. I have concluded that it is my feelings of wanting to give God my best, and seeing others in influential positions (what I perceive) not taking full advantage of the opportunities that present itself. I know that everyone has a different approach, and sometimes I think it's a curse that I put so much expectation on others and even myself, but it's only my desire to want to give my best is where this all stems from. I remember my husband describing me as someone who gives God my all without compromise. But then in saying that I feel my relationship with my girls is breaking down. I love my girls so much, but feel that lately we are not connecting on a level we should be as mother and daughters. I really need to re-evaluate the things that I have in my life. I know that I am not doing everything I do to please anyone but my God. But as I sit here, I think...what is giving me the impression that He isn't pleased with me??? Have there been any signs lately where God is trying to tell me that I am going the wrong way???
There hasn't been any signs....
I feel like a pressure cooker...waiting let some steam out. In times like this, I know that I need to exercise my spirit, body and mind. This week I will focus on my spirit first. Spending time focussing on God and listening for His voice. I will "Be Still" so that I can hear Him. I will focus on my relationship with my girls and my husband. I have neglected them lately, and not giving them the love they need from me as their mum and wife. I will focus on my body in eating right and going for walks. I will focus on my mind. Exercising my brain to come up with ideas to serve God in my family, my church and my workplace...argh! and my school work! Assignment due in 10 days!!!...oh my life :)
I am thankful for everything that I have. And continue to look forward to the goodness that He has prepared for me.
My encouragement for you this week....keep reminding yourself of your intention to do the things you do...especially in serving God!! xx
No comments:
Post a Comment