Day 73 - 75: So tired...

The last couple of days I haven't taken any pain relief.  My doc had forgotten to complete extra paperwork when he had written my prescription for the morphine based medication.  I had to go back to the hospital to pick up the extra paperwork.  I left before collecting it.  Was tired of waiting! So over all the pills! I now have another month of oral meds!  I don't feel like I need the stronger meds anymore for the pain which is good.  I can now deal with voltaren and panadol.

My gorgeous cousin left yesterday!  This trip has helped me so much.  Not just around the house but to fill the void of being without my family for so long.  The companionship was something I had yearned for for a long time.  I am blessed that we were given an opportunity to catch up.  My girls have absolutely enjoyed their time with their aunty.

My dad is still here and has been a Superman!!!  He has helped us renovate our place while still unwell.  With the news of one of my brothers heading overseas with his family my dad will be leaving us soon.  It is a cold and windy night in Wellington and our blimmin' gas heater is not working in the lounge.  So we have a sickly five-fin oil heater making some attempt to heat up our lounge. Almost feels like the story of the little train that could!

I feel so tired, and now feel a cold coming on.  I still have school work to complete! I think I am ready to return to work gradually this week. Everyone seems surprised when I tell them.  So maybe I'm thinking too far ahead.  My drama yesterday was that I fell asleep on the way home from the airport!!!  I was tempted to pulling off the motorway for a snooze but in my mind I wanted to get home because I was with my girls.  Five minutes away from home I definitely fell asleep and had drifted into the opposite lane towards oncoming traffic.  I managed to swerve and miss a car before readjusting myself.  My eldest, poor darling, was talking to me throughout the trip to keep me awake.  I had been out for too long to be driving so for now I can only handle short trips.

It's almost mid august and there is still so much to do.  I know that I am out of the woods now so need to regain my energy! I have been so blessed and thankful for all of my family and friends for being around to help us.  I hope that an opportunity will arise that me and my family can support them all in the same way.

Day 71 & 72 - Good news...

I have been so tired these last couple of days and pushing my body to beyond its current limits.  My gorgeous cousin is here and has been a huge help! I will miss her dearly!

Yesterday I had my MRI scan which took over an hour.  I am glad that I won't have those again for a while!  I am feeling okay but am definitely feel strained.  My medication had run out so was a little anxious to see my doc at the hospital to get a new prescription.

My appointment with my doctor went well today.  I had my picc line taken out! Hallelujah I am no longer carrying my 80s bum bag!  I now have another month of oral medication as well as the pain relief.  The doc says that I am okay to return to work (and the gym!) gradually.  Just feeling the strain on my body with the little medication I have had these last couple of days I believe it when he says to take it easy!  The doc reviewed my scan and is happy that there have been positive changes.  Two bones in my spine where the infection is has fused together which was expected but overall it is good news.  I am happy with that! God is so good to me!!!! I feel happy and relieved.  It felt like such a milestone to see the picc line out.  My life is about to head back on track!!!

We've been making some changes to our house lately, and with my dad in town my DIY attempts are finally getting fixed/tidied up!  My dad and I have had many heated arguments in the aisles of the Warehouse and Bunnings :P  I am so grateful for what he is doing!  One of my DIY blunders has finally been fixed after two years! :)  All it needs now is a lick of fresh paint and we're good to go.  We've had one of the boys from youth help my dad out.  Such a blessing he is.  He is young and getting his life straight.  To distract him from doing things/hanging with those that will get him into trouble he has offered to help out my dad and has been enjoying it.  This kid has a good head on his shoulders and I believe that God has a great plan for him because he is making the right choices to set his path straight!

My beautiful cousin has done so much with taking care of me and my family.  Right now she is reading a bedtime story to my girls.  She has also baked us an apple pie and tonight a lemon meringue pie (with some direction of course).  So great to have my "sister" in town.

I always knew that I will be healed, this was definitely a journey for me to slow down and consider things that really matter in my life.  With heading back to work possibly next week I also have my school work to complete.  First assignment is due this week.  I will be working very hard over the weekend.  Oh joy :).

Through this experience I have felt and still feel so blessed that God has given me and my family an opportunity to spend time with my family in particular.  My girls have had a good dose of my family these past 5 - 6 weeks.  One of my aunty's suggested I move back home with my family :).  It's very difficult to be away from one's family.  I'm glad that Dan understands how difficult it is for me.  I have accepted that we live apart but can feel sad on special occasions.  I am so grateful for the time I have had with my family.  For this I know that God understands my needs and will provide in His time!

Thank you God for healing me!

Day 70 - I am on the road again....

I drove today for the first time since I fell ill.  I did okay.  I also hadn't taken my medication this morning.  My body was really tired today.  I really need to ease back into things.  I almost feel panicky that I will be starting work soon and that my routine will kick into hectic mode.

My check up today was fine.  I can't wait to get this picc line out of my arm! I feel like my movements are restricted like an elderly person with a walking stick!  Right now I'm propped up in bed with my antibiotics strapped to my abdomen.  When I go to sleep at night I unstrap my 80s bum bag so that I can sleep comfortably.  But when the ladies room calls in the middle of the night, half asleep I get up from bed and the bottle (of antibiotics) drops to the floor almost ripping the line off my up that is taped to my arm.  Hair being ripped off my bare shoulder I manage to make it to the ladies room.

I"m looking forward to seeing my cousin tomorrow.  It will be nice to have her around.  I have been very blessed to have support from family and friends during this time and that their support has seen me return to reality.  After having done practically nothing these past 2 months, I'm a little overwhelmed at how busy my life actually is.  As a family we already have a lot to do in the next couple of weeks.  I am looking forward to our holiday at the end of the year already :).

I am looking forward to getting on with life but I think most importantly I need to take my focus off "reality" and focus on God.  I talk about my faith bringing me through this illness.  I am not out of the woods yet.  I need to keep believing and climb my "sycamore tree" to see the blessings that will come.

Day 69 - Exciting things ahead....

Today has been a good day despite the weather.  The body was feeling okay today and lasted as long as it could but now it's starting to take its toll.  I think I'd better have an early night.  This week will be busy with assignments and appointments.  I think I will be okay to drive this week.  I will give it a go this Tuesday.

I will be heading to work in a couple of weeks.  I feel as though reality is reaching me pretty quickly, which is probably why I'm doing so much more around the house.  Or at least trying to.  My body does ache but I think it's more that I am starting to wean off the medication and now I am starting to feel things.

The messages today at church were great and spoke to me about the greatness of our God.  This morning the message was about God's ways are not our ways.  Our thoughts are not His thoughts, which is like the distance of heaven from earth.  This, to me, describes how BIG our God is.  The message also talked about our priorities and where God fits into them.  I know personally that by putting God first all things will happen and with reality kicking in soon I need to revisit my priorities again.  Checking off another list of mine.  The message from the evening service talks about the story of Zacchaeus and how he climbed the sycamore tree to see Jesus walking through the crowd.  What spoke to me in this scripture is that like Zacchaeus we want to see Jesus but at times we need to climb above our crowds so we can see clearly, think clearly, pray clearly.  I need to move, I need to climb before I can get closer to Jesus in my life.

Powerful messages that will help me face this week's challenges.  My dad has not been well and I feel for him because he wants to do more and is very frustrated.  I walked in after the evening service to find my dad on the couch and a quick glimpse of him made me realise how old he really is.  :(

I think tonight I will try to have an early night.  I hope that everyone is all nice and snug and ready for a new week ahead.

Day 67 & 68 - Busy busy & Date night

I have been very naughty these last couple of days.  Really putting a strain on my body!  We've been doing a really good clean up of the house.  Well I started cleaning our rumpus room and went to grab something from the workshop and ended up cleaning that too!  Argh! For the past two days my name has been changed to "Monica".  I even rearranged my girls room in half an hour!  I'm on a roll but at the moment I just can't seem to keep still.

My mum has been awesome doing so much for us this past week.  Dan will most definitely miss her cooking and my girls will miss her a lot.  I will just miss my mum.  Though I may not have shown it, I really do appreciate all that she has done for me and my family even though her body is not in its best form.  She still gave us 110% every day.  Bless my mum for her heart of service!!!  Never fails to give me household tips in between doing everything :)  so now it's just my dad :)  He's not too well either and I'm sure he feels bad when I'm doing a lot more than I should.  But it's not to give him hints that I want him to do things, I just can't keep still and I need to change things.  You'd think I'd spend my time working on my assignment due next week!!  My dad has spent most of his time telling me to stop what I'm doing and rest.  We've done so much that I feel now I can relax.  Yeah well we'll see for how long.

I'm looking forward to my cousin coming down.  It's been some time since I last saw her but I'm so thankful that she is sacrificing her time to help me and my family out.  She is such a blessing and is one of those people in your life that despite not having seen each other or talked to each other for a long time, when you do meet it's as though you were never apart. :)

Dan and I managed to get some time together.  We reminisced about our first date.  We can  still remember the restaurant, the movie, what we had for dessert :)  We laughed about the things we would do to impress each other.  It's amazing how blind your love is when you are dating.  Being married definitely takes your relationship to the next level.  It's interesting when a couple dating for so many years think they could know so much about each other and think that marriage would not be any different.  I think this is true to an extent.  Calling something "mine" for so long and then changing it to "ours" requires some preparation on a psychological level, I think.  A marriage bears all flaws.  In a courtship there is always a risk that someone would leave the relationship.  I suppose that is also true about marriages but if marriages are believed to be forever then there would be no risk.  Sometimes I think that for a marriage to work you would need endurance and commitment.  I can drop so many things that are very important in a marriage but there is no one way of making things work.  What may work for one couple may not necessarily work for another.  In a couple of years Dan and I will have been married for ten years.  It's amazing how far we have come.  God has definitely been the centre of this marriage and I am so thankful for the life I have lead and will continue to live in this marriage.

Tonight was our date night.  I sometimes think it's funny that for a married couple a date night is sometimes a movie, dinner, or hanging out with friends.  Sometimes our date nights are restricted to a small window of time before the children start to miss you or that you need an early night because you have to get ready for work and the kids for school.  When Dan and I have date night, it's hard to think of things to do outside of the dinner or a movie.  Before we had our girls, we used to take turns coming up with something to do.  On some nights we would play board games.  I think that's when our we started our collection of board games.  Other nights would be a DVD, or we'd play a sport together.  Most of these date nights were done at home.  But now that we have children, we'd prefer our date nights to be away from home :).  That is, if we had the energy after being with our girls to go out.  I hope for those of you who have children, that you really get some time to be with your partner.  Because we need a bit of attention ourselves, just as our children demand it of us.  Being a parent is such a selfless thing and it is amazing that from the moment you realise that you are becoming a parent, how quickly your world becomes theirs.