Following the news of my uncle passing away, I booked my flight to Auckland to be with my family. My uncle was my godfather, so I felt obligated to be with my family and to repay the same love they showed my during my upbringing.
How difficult it was for my cousins and aunty to endure the loss of someone so dear, I don't think I could ever imagine until it was either Dan, my girls or my immediate family. My aunty was so strong. Such a tower of strength. Just as she has always been in that family. I was so blessed for the opportunity to be able to serve them during their time of mourning. My one regret was not bringing one of my girls along with me.
I spent a week with my family. I had not seen my dad's side for so long. Seeing all my cousins working together was such a great thing to see. I felt so relieved to be able to hang out with my cousins and not be hissed at by my father to go inside and do some chores like he did when I was younger. I felt a sense of freedom in this saddened circumstance.
The night my uncle came home to rest I could not bring myself to see him. I didn't think I would react in that way. But just a glimpse of him lying in his coffin, I burst into tears and cried like a baby. But looking at my cousin I had to be strong for her. I quickly wiped my tears and took deep breathes before I could continue with what I was tasked to do.
One night my cousin and I slept with her mum in the lounge next to my uncle. We didn't sleep until 7.30am. I felt for my aunty, who couldn't sleep and would stay awake until her body could no longer hold up against the exhaustion. We laughed and talked about my uncle and our families. Even in her darkest hour, my aunty could still crack a joke or even repeat it so many times. Something that I'm sure I will do as I grow older - repeat myself :).
My uncle's funeral service was beautiful. Short and sweet. I was amazed at the beautiful speech my cousin Joe gave. Joe is the youngest of my uncles three children. He is a couple of years older than me. Joe is someone of only a few words but his actions and loyalty speak volumes. I love Joe like my own brother. His speech about promising his father to take care of the house and their mum was touching. It was amazing that though Joe was put on the spot he could recall special moments about his dad. His advice to everyone in attendance to think about the time we have left with our families and to use that time wisely was good.
The service ended at the burial. My cousin and I watched the boys return to the dirt to my uncle's grave, right up to the last shovel of dirt thrown over the mound. My cousin and I talked about how the burying of her father was a process for us to come to terms with what has happened and to say farewell physically whereas spiritually we know that our uncle's spirit is in a better place. How amazing our God is that we have these rituals/traditions that we go through that take us through the process of saying goodbye to our loved ones.
The remainder of my time with my cousins and aunty was very special to me. I could finally do something for them in which they have done for me growing up. Often I think about how I can repay those who have taken care of me growing up. I am thankful that this opportunity (as sad as it was) came about. The best way I know how to show my love for someone is by serving them humbly.
I hold dear to my heart my time with my family in playing pictionary, ten-pin bowling, singing, watching movies together. I miss my family very much but I was happy to be home with my husband and my girls. I think I may have watched too many chick flicks while away because I asked Dan to rekindle the romantic home dinners we used to have before our girls arrived. We used to take turns organising the night with candles etc despite the dinner being cornbeef and noodles :) which is a delicacy that is very special to us (on our honeymoon all we ate was cornbeef and noodles :P). So at work today I sent Dan an appointment for the 1st of October forgetting that it will be our 10th anniversary since we started dating. ha! Dan knew it was the date....whoever said that men are useless with special dates doesn't really know that they're only pretending ...they know! :) So I have five or so weeks to prepare a lavish dinner (hopefully in our new house :) Godwilling), while Dan organises the set-up and on this special occasion Dan wanted us to exchange gifts...hmmmm....It's good to spice up your marriage/relationship..keep each other on your toes...otherwise one of you will just be upset about not being treated like the main actress in a chick flick :P...
I've decided to put my studies on hold this semester to concentrate on returning to work and bringing my health back to 110%. This has relieved some pressure off of me so I look forward to just being a mummy and wife.
I am so thankful for everything that I have.....I hope that you are happy with where you are in life too :)
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