Day 93 - 96: My Purpose

This week I'm thinking about my purpose in this life.  There was a time during my illness I thought about the likely consequences and the effects it would bring into my life and that of my family.  Only a slight glimpse into my likely future brings a moment of sadness but visions of servitude and happiness is what remains at the forefront of my mind.  Of course my life will be limited to a horizon that I see and is settled at the hips of those around me but I think it is the faith in knowing that there is so much more is what will drive me to achieve more.

I whispered to Dan at church yesterday that it had just dawned on me whether this illness has impacted on my chances of being able to carry a baby to full-term.  Dan and I would love to have more children but the thought of complications scares me a little.  My thoughts then lead onto alternatives if it were the case that I could not carry a baby to term.  Adoption?  Can I raise a child as my own?  Interesting that I would have no trouble in raising a child under different circumstances, a broken home? orphaned at birth? but where the circumstances are because of my own illness...I don't know.  Has my unconditional love now come with conditions? or will it?
I have a doctors appointment this week and next so I will raise the question with them then.

We have put our house on the market because we have found another property that we like.  It is amazing how God can move in your life.  We had our offer accepted for the new house and it has since dropped in price 3 times!!!  Our house is now up for rent and we have received interest within 24 hours!  You know there are so many things that we want in this life and at times when it is something that we really want we throw punches into the air when we don't get it.  I've come to learn (and understanding my purpose in this life) that there is a reason for everything.  Our eyes are only limited to what we can see in front of us, but it is in our faith that something is greater is waiting for us is what will drive us to do more, to do better.  I am not worried about the new house, or the situation with our current house, because I am leaving it in God's hands.  But that doesn't mean that I don't do my part, no.  I still have to do some ground work for these houses but my hands are guided by God's Holy Spirit.

My purpose in this life? is to serve God using what I have learnt in this world and to reflect a lifestyle worthy of His Glory.  I am not perfect but I can do my best to improve on the way I live my life.