OMGoodness What Have I done?

I'm sitting here and reading through an email that my lecturer just sent through, and I can feel panic starting to creep up on me.  What have I done?  Withdrawing from my paper might delay my graduation for another 5 years.  Do I want to wait that long?  Feelings of disappointment for failing at not completing something that I had my heart set on finishing only months away is now settling in my heart.  Argh! I hate sitting still for only a moment because these blasted thoughts creep into my head.

I need to make this journey of improving my health worth the sacrifices I'm making.  I started studying in 2001 and despite taking some time off here and there to have my girls, I now feel like it has almost gone to waste.  I spent some time last night with one of my closest friends.  I told of her my journey to date, and she told me what so many others have "You do sooo much!", and I kept replying that it may be true but I don't feel like I do enough.  Oh this is soooo hard to make myself a priority!  Even after weighing myself this morning and after two weeks I have lost over 3 kgs, the celebration only lasted so long!  Argh!

These thoughts are not going to get me down!  My spirit is stronger than that.  I am made of GREATNESS! GREATNESS lies within me!  "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" Phil 4:13

So I've reached for my latest book called "Don't sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff" by Richard Carlson which talks about simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life and there is a chapter that talks about being flexible with changing your plans.  It is a common encouragement for people to persevere through their plans because it is true to say that success comes from perseverance and completion.  But Carlson reminds me that when your situation changes, your plans need to be flexible to change with your situation otherwise you will be stressing over not completing anything in your life *sigh*.  So as I'm writing this, I'm reading what Carlson says....and all I have to say is "argh!"....he reminds me that....when things get on top of you, you need to look at everything you have got on and think ...."What's really important?"....okay, okay....I feel better now :)

*sigh* Thank you God for blessing your children with the ability to write what you try to tell us through your Word :)  At this time in my life, it is more important for me to take care of myself for the sake of ME, my family and for my service to God.  Giving yourself allowances for potential changes in your life, will help you be a more peaceful person and frankly...easier to be around :)

Okay back on track.....so my post is headed..."OMGoodness What have I done?"....Easy.... :) taking care of ME :) xxx