Saturday 26 June
Feeling sore. Asked Dan for more pain relief. My nurse is a lovely lady. The orthopaedic specialists arrived to discuss my new situation. So I have infection in my bones that is seeping out to the back of my lungs and pushing against my spinal cord. If the pushing was bad I would feel numbness in my legs however my legs are really strong – Praise God - so to surgically remove the infection from my bones which is a big operation is not being considered but the doctor’s believe the infection to be quite minute and would like to attack it with some strong antibiotics that could cause kidney failure.
Scary to think that the risks to have the infection and the surgery is paralysis and a potential mortality rate. It didn’t really hit me until I called Ben to tell him. He sounded quite upset. It was nice to hear because I felt like finally my brothers will miss me. I’ve received so many texts from really good friends and family who are offering their help. I feel so blessed.
My roomy next door just received some really bad news that affects her chances of having children in the future. Poor thing she’s really upset. I should make some time to talk with her. She’s been on the phone with her mum and I overheard her say that her faith is shaken and she no longer believes in God. Why is this happening to me...Has my faith shaken? I don’t think so. I feel calm and feel that it isn’t my time to go because I have so many things I have yet to do for God and yet if God wills it that I have done what I need to then I will obey my calling. I love my family so much. I love my husband and my family so much.
I’m starting to feel tired again and my lunch is sitting on my bed...oh joy J soup and toast J. Mum swapped shifts with Dan so that Dan can have some rest.
I called my brothers to let them know what’s happening. I started crying. It was hard not to. I love my brothers so much and even now I still yearn for some expression of love from them which I got in the phone calls I made. I called my dad also. He was very sad and reassured me that once he’s done what he needs to do in Samoa he will come back and stay with me.
I’ve come to learn that every family is different in the way they express love for each other. Dan’s family openly expresses love whereas my family don’t. And perhaps show it more in the things we do for each other.
Dan, Liz, Dad and my girls came to visit. My girls seemed so cheerful. I miss them so much. I love my girls so much and they are growing to be very good girls.
Robyn and Kaio came to visit. I love this couple. They are so encouraging and very mature and love God. Where we fall they help build us up and vice versa. We’ve been the best of friends for over a year now and it truly been a blessing. They stayed with us until 11pm.
Dan couldn’t stay the night so he had to leave. Which I think was just as well. He was preparing his sermon for tomorrow’s service. I’m glad that he hasn’t passed it on that he decided to continue with it. He is such a great example that even in your darkest hour you continue to serve God!
I slept okay. Watched TV until I could fall asleep. Took pain relief in the early hours of the morning to stay on top of things. I had a good rest.
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