Day 38 - 1st day home from the hospital ....again

Wow it's been 38 days since my first doctor's appointment.  The first of many to follow.  As I was encouraged to write about my experiences during this period of healing (I'd like to call it), so to was I encouraged to start a blog by a patient (now friend) I met while in hospital recently.  So here I am online and ready to go...but before I start sharing my heart with you... I must nap..ha!..It has taken me over an hour to work out how to use this free blog site and now I must go for a nap.  Will return to blog very soon.  I feel this could become quite addictive despite not having any followers as yet (or will I ever?).  Not claiming to be like a censored-G-rated Carrie Bradshaw but just someone who would like to share their story with the hope that my story may inspire you to make a decision that may change your life forever....

okay back soon after my nap :)


I know I said that I'm going for nap.  I didn't really.  I stayed another two hours uploading my whole journal.  It took a while.  One good friend has read it so far.  Now I am really tired.  I haven't had anything to eat. My ears, throat and nasal passages are blocked and Dan is telling me to get some reset especially before our girls get home.


2 hours later and I still haven't had a nap.  Tried to eat something and now I'm feeling sick just looking at the food channel!


My eldest called while waiting for her Papa to pick her up and bring her home.  She sounds so mature.  It's amazing how much time can be taken from you when your body is trying to repair.  You miss a lot of time with your children, family and friends.  It amazes me that I will have been off work for 3 months before I come right. That's just crazy!  I feel as though I've gone from one extreme to the next.  You know doing so many things, working hard and now I'm practically doing nothing.  Crazy!


My district nurse came in today as she will do everyday for four weeks to change my antibiotics.  So, my antibiotics are stored in a plastic bottle connected to a line that is inserted through my upper right bicep and thread through to my heart.  The Docs say that the reason for this is to allow for the antibiotics to run through my blood stream more effectively.  As good as that sounds it's scary that any infection at the point of entry will have a direct path to my heart and then my illness will take whole new turn for the worse.


My nurse tells me that I really need to rest.  Absolutely do nothing! Any strain on my back will irritate it and cause more pain.  Well that was enough to convince me to just sit still.


Reflecting on my time so far I'm finding that we take for granted what our bodies can do.  We push ourselves to the limit.  We run ourselves on empty every day and then we wake up the next day expecting to do so much more.  We were born with one body.  When we run ourselves down we can't simply arrange to get a new body.  Though medicine today allows us to replace limbs which is a blessing to some but our bodies may never be the same as they used to be.  So we need to take care of what we've been blessed with.


When I think about what I've been given (my body) and how I tend to run it down I would look around the wards when I was in hospital and think "hey what am I crying about, there are others that look in worse shape than you!" and then I try to do to much and then I'm back at square one.  In life we do this everyday.  We measure our worth against others as if to think that we are not worth much.  But we are! We are worth so much more!.  I think about the young mother that was in the bed next to me who questioned her faith and I'm think to myself, you are so worth it!  As we are all uniquely made, we all have varying levels of tolerance for things.  God doesn't test you beyond your limits!  I didn't think of my time in hospital as one of my low points in life but an opportunity to meet people (under probably the worst circumstances).  And I did.  We can step beyond our own curtains unless we take action and pull them back first.  We carry around so much rubbish in our lives is it really necessary?


Something else I have learnt is that we often focus on the unwell person which initially that is where our attention is drawn.  But when you think about the help that they receive that are at arm's rest we forget about their families who are the ones that try to come to terms with whats happened and they are the ones that do need our help.  I am so thankful that we have a good support system surrounding Daniel and I where friends and family have cooked meals for Dan and my girls and their main carers - Nana & Papa & Aunty Lisa.  It is amazing!  When people ask me to let them know if I need anything - I said to them that I was fine.  I have food delivered to me (not always the greatest - but I am thankful) everyday, I have a bed, doctors and nurses are a buzzer away.  But my husband  is the one that needs the help.  I think I've said that it's not easy for the spouse/partner that is at home alone or with the children.  Their minds are on their partners in the hospital and the children at home so very quickly can the washing and the dishes and dust pile up at home.  


I think to sign off today's blog I would like to encourage everyone to think of other ways (than the obvious) to help out your friend/partner/family and their family in their time of need.  But again thank you to all my family and friends who have done so much already through your prayers, kind words, dinners, taking care of our girls so Dan has some time to recover, helping out with regular house chores, spending time to visit me, making long distance phone calls (my good friend Phoebe), making the trip to Wellington to help us.  We are so blessed through the love that you show me and my family but stepping in and being with us in this way.  Please believe that in your time of need my family and I will do our best to support you and your family.


God bless...