Day 39 - Home Alone

Thank you to those who have read my blog.  Your messages via facebook and comments are uplifting and encouraging.


My aching back woke me up this morning at around 8am when Dan was rushing around getting himself and our girls ready.  I took my medication and then try to find a position where I could fall back to sleep comfortably.  My girls whispered their goodbyes to me.  I kissed their cold cheeks and reminded them to put their beanies on.  Dan did well this morning.


The next time I woke up was around 10.25am, the district nurse was going to arrive soon.  Shoot wasn't moving fast enough.  I greeted her with morning breathe! argh!  I got the nurse to settle in the lounge while I quickly freshened up.  Great! not only did I greet her with morning breathe but now with toothpaste on my sweater!


Everything checked out okay. I hadn't taken my meds yet so as the appointment went on I could feel my back and chest gradually throbbing.  I felt so tired this morning.  Plan today is to sleep all day.  The programme that I'm on is called "Hospital Care at Home".  It's for patients who are discharged but who would normally stay on at the hospital for at least another 4 to 6 weeks.  Because I fit that category they had decided to send me home to recover for the remainder of the period.  It's great to be back home because I get to see my girls and spend time with them and Dan.  But sometimes I think it would do the opposite you know.  I suppose it doesn't matter what we do our families are always thinking about us who are sick.  Despite this programme allowing their patients to go home, the patient really needs to keep in their mind that they are still recovering.  So I'm told that whatever I did in hospital I must do at home.  Easy to say and very hard to do.


The nurse left and I prepared my breakfast and meds.  Nutri Grain. Check. Milk. Check. Oxycontin, Laxsor and Diclophenac check - 6 tablets.  Water. Check.  I turned the TV on.  Turned the heater on and pulled back the curtains.  All the while my back and chest was throbbing more and my breathing was beginning to shorten.  I sat down, took my pills and then couldn't eat for a while because I was waiting for the throbbing to settle.  Now I was beginning to feel drowsy and wanted to throw up.  I couldn't bring myself to eat my breakfast but I had to because taking Diclophenac which is like a form of morphine/voltaren on an empty stomach is not a good idea.  So I forced some grapes down my throat.  I don't think my throat has recovered fully from the examination they did where they inserted a scope down my throat to check my heart.  It still doesn't feel right.  After 1 1/2 hours of waiting for the pain to settle I could finally get some food into my tummy. I am definitely going to sleep all day today.  


It's a beautiful day here in Wellington but don't let that deceive you because stepping outside is still another story.  It is really cold!


I crawled into bed and Dan called.  He tells me that he's worked out some plan to organise the girls more efficiently in the morning.  Oh how I love the way Dan tackles things.  Always looks at it like its some sort of business case at work.  He looks at the problem.  Analyses it.  Develops a method to achieve desired outcome.  Tests his method and if successful let's me know about it :).  If not back to analysing it :).  I knew there was a reason why he went to Varsity.  It wasn't for him to apply his knowledge to the corporate world but to improve his parenting skills ;).  I laugh because even in our disagreements we talk very 'business like' because it helps to remove the emotion from what we're trying to achieve....hold up....can I just check the colour of my skin? :)....yup still brown :) ha!  Love it.....if you're in a relationship...don't be afraid to try anything there is no "one size fits all" in marriages.  Just as you are uniquely made so is the relationship you have with your husband/wife.  Try anything, it just might work for you both :).


I am always wriggling my toes and feeling my thighs, calves, ankles etc to ensure that I still have feeling.  It's hard to determine what kind of sensation I'm feeling that should be alerted to my doctors.  So far so good.  I think about the likelihood of losing any feeling in my legs.  Don't get me wrong I have complete faith that God knows what He's doing.  I think some of the time it is the "coming to terms" with what may happen is what stumps me.  So I try to prepare myself.  I feel confident that it won't get that far however I really need to do my bit and listen to the medical professionals and JUST REST!!!


So now I'm propped up in bed all snuggled up with the beautiful sunlight beaming through my condensation-covered-window and about to take a nap.  Man with all this sleeping I hope I'm losing some kilo's!...so for now I will nap and return later tonight....hope you are having a blessed day...