The highlight of my day today came at around 4ish when I had awoken from a very deep nap for 3 hours. My sister-in-law had just called me to check if I was up to coming along to evening service. At the time I said no I didn't feel up to it, and then my eyes wouldn't close again. I lay in bed thinking about whether or not I should go. I did want to go to service because I missed the fellowship. I heard that everything is going really well in our congregation. Dan has been returning home lately feeling like he's on a real high because of how great the services have been. Now for a minute I allowed a stupid thought come into my head "maybe services are going well because I'm not there!" but my spirit is better than that and I knew that our congregation is where it should be so it is definitely NOT because I am not there. :) So lying in bed I thought well I'll get dressed anyway and if I'm feeling good about what I'm wearing and feel comfortable and warm then I'll go.
So I did. Got dressed. Called Del to pick me up and off I was heading to church. It has been over a month since I was last at church. Walking into service was great. Now to be honest the church wasn't pumping or anything but I felt at peace to walk back into my Father's house. I was really cold so I was glad that I wore so many layers. It was nice to sit in the usual spot that me and my family sit in. My girls were happy to see me at church as was everyone in my congregation. Tonight we had a combined service with other like churches in my region to listen to a speaker from out of town. I listened to a number of youth items. One was a remake of "Hold On" by Sounds of Blackness. A nice old school song helped me to relax and think about the message...."Hold On, Change is coming, Hold On, Everything's gonna be alright, Hold on, You can make it".
The message tonight was simple, found in Exodus 13: 17 - 18. I related this message to what I'm going through and basically it was telling me that there are always short-cuts. But short-cuts may lead you into a battlefield that you may lose and that may take you back to the place you are trying to leave. But when you have faith and take the long route you will find yourself reaching your destination wiser and stronger. A simple message that encouraged me to believe that though the path I am going down is long it will be worth it!!
I caught up with a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while. One good friend had gone through quite an ordeal herself. Amazing tower of strength she is. We talked about going through similar things in our treatment. It was nice to share with someone who understood. She looks great and I am glad that she is in the last stages of her treatment.
It was great to see everyone especially those in my congregation because I know they have been praying very hard for me and family. It was hard for me to give them an answer that they were not expecting to hear. They ask me how I am and instead of saying "I'm great thanks", I tell them "Um, I'm still the same and it will be some time before I come right" and then I see their faces drop. I felt for them because ...what can you say to someone who is ill and you don't quite understand it and you cannot do much to help them. But what is helping me is knowing that they are praying for me. Prayer is a powerful thing and I am definitely feeling their prayers covering me and my family. This burden is definitely shared among everyone that is praying for me and helping me and my family. That is one of the greatest things about this experience. I do not feel entirely alone on this journey.
Today I am happy that I made it back into my Father's house and Tomorrow I will start to make it back to His house again.
I have stayed home with this illness for nearly 6 weeks and though my blog may give you the perception of someone with huge faith making it on her own at home, my faith still needs to be guided by my church. Just like everything else in life, we can learn to do things for ourselves but there will come a day when you will need some help. If you are someone who has been thinking about attending a church, why not look for one that will suit you and your family. Start with looking at local churches or talk to others that you know who attend a church. Give it a go....
God bless
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