Day 43 - Scan #3

I wasn't feeling too great last night before I hopped into bed.  Luckily that quickly changed once my body warmed up.  I thought I was going to be hit with the fever again.  I took some panadol this morning because my back started to throb and then fell back to sleep.

My sister-in-law will be over soon to take me to my appointment.  MRI scan #3.  This scan will indicate whether  or not the medication is working.  I'm a little nervous but I'm okay.  Just tired.  My back is throbbing at the moment. In reference to my pain the nurses/doctors always ask me on a scale from 0 to 10, 0 being no pain, and 10 being extreme what do you rate your pain right.  At this moment I'm about a 1 - 2.  In the first four weeks of my illness the pain was hovering around 9 - 10.  I am not due my medication until 10am.

My scan is at 12pm.  Last time I waited until 1.30pm to have and didn't leave until 3pm all the while having a really bad headache and feeling nauseous.  I really don't want to be that sick again while waiting.

Thank you everyone for all your kind words, support, encouragement, love and being with me on this journey.  It really is encouraging to me and I hope that you continue to be this supportive with others as you have doing for me.

Here is my prayer for this morning...

"Dear Lord,

I thank you for your love and your protection over me.  I worship you because you are a big God.  You created me in my mothers womb.  You know me completely.  You know every single nerve, muscle, bone in my body.  I ask Father God that today your Holy Spirit be with me while I take my MRI scan.  I ask for peace so that I don't freak out while I'm in the scanner.  I ask that your healing hand is placed on the very part that is causing me pain.  I am tired of being ill.  This is going on too long.  I ask that you take this cup away from me and Heal me so that I can serve you fully and be the wife, the mother, the sister and daughter that I believe that I was born to be!  I give you all the power dear God, I no longer will try to take control and do things my way.  Whatever is your will dear Father I will accept with a humble heart because you have blessed me with so much in my life, far beyond what I could ever comprehend and there is nothing in my life that has made me doubt you!  I praise you Almighty Father God, and to Jesus for being the example of humbleness and accepting your Father's calling in your life.  Holy Spirit my friend I know that you will be with me today as you have always been.  Thank you.

I worship you and give you all the praise and the glory.

Through your son Jesus Christ my Saviour

Amen


8.49pm

I survived yet another scan.  Thankfully it ended before the closed space became too much.  I tried to force myself to sleep during the process but as my body relaxed it would rub against the walls of the scanner and then I would quickly try to fall asleep again.  If you have never experienced going through an MRI scan before let me tell you what it is like.  First you complete a questionnaire about previous surgeries involving metal plates etc.  You are then asked to undress and wear a hospital gown.  The scanner is magnetic hence the reason to remove any metal objects from your body.  You then lay on a narrow bed.  Your head is strapped to the bed to ensure stability during the process.  They place a cloth or blanket over you so that your skin does not rub against the walls of the scanner.  They give you a buzzer in case you feel uncomfortable and want to come out.  They place head phones over your ears and play music of your choice.  It gets very noisy inside so it helps to choose the right music to distract you from the noise.  The bed is then raised and then reversed back into the scanner where a small opening filled with light welcomes you into space.  You are then left alone in the room.  For the next 40 mins, light and loud noises will be heard as the scanner takes a picture of whatever part of your body is under investigation.  You will feel a light breeze because it gets quite hot inside the scanner, as if you are sitting in a room wearing 5 layers and the heaters are on.  You will feel the walls rub against your skin as you lay within the scanner.  If you can imagine as a young child playing hide-and-seek with your siblings and you found the smallest place you could hide and you squeeze your tiny body into that place and wait.  That is what it feels like to be in the scanner.  It took a lot for me not lose it, as I'm not very good in small places.  Obviously if you are claustrophobic, this is not for you.  So you can imagine my relief when they brought me out.

The results of this scan will tell me whether or not  the medication is working.  My appointment is set for Thursday. My youngest brother has arrived and it pleases me that he is here as it will when the rest of my family arrive over the coming weeks.  So he will be with me at my appointment.

So today has been a good day for me.  I received a beautiful gift yesterday, a book called "Rain on Me".  A devotional book to encourage me through this hard time.  I open the book to the first chapter, Day One "It's Okay to Not Be Okay", and immediately I smile because yesterday I felt that I was not sick at all and I need to snap out of it and get on with things.  The chapter talks about feeling alone and not realising that there are others but through my illness so many of you have shared kind words with me and have shared some of your own experiences with me.  I realise that in your sharing that I am not alone in this you are all with me as God is with me in this journey.